Preschool

Bennett had his very first day of preschool today. The plan was to take him last week, but he got a cold the day before. So we decided to wait. Everything went very well, better than I expected. We told him constantly over the last week that we were going to school, that we had to leave but would come back, etc. We basically tried to give him the social story of what was going to happen so he wouldn't be surprised. He responds to this approach positively in many situations. He loved carrying his backpack into the school and ran right to a table to start playing. Since he seemed to jump right in, we quickly kissed him goodbye and left. I fully expected the teacher to call and tell us that he was upset, but she never did. I picked him up from the playground at 11am and he was so happy to see me. No tears or anything. Apparently he had a couple of moments where they thought he would cry, but he was able to push through them. Although it was difficult to hold his attention for long, he did try and participate with everything the other kids did.

I was a little bit early to pick him up, but I parked near the playground and watched him run around the equipment. It was so strange to be watching from afar and I shed a few tears. But we are very proud of Bennett and we went and had a celebratory doughnut after.

On Vivian's front, there is lots and lots and lots of practice walking going on. She pushes around anything that can be pushed. If she runs into anything and gets stopped she cries until one of us helps her to get going again and then smiles while walking toward the next obstacle.

I get to do a few mom-night-out activities over the next week. Tomorrow it is an authentic Indian appetizer night, Friday a white elephant gift party, and next week a wine/gift wrapping party. I've never been a particularly good or consistent wrapper, but I won't argue with some wine. Maybe it will help my technique!

Bernie's dad will be here tomorrow for a couple of days en-route to Phoenix. He is going to help us replace some light fixtures and with other odd jobs that need to be done to prepare the house for sale. Our list of fixes/improvements is quite long.

We are so happy with our photos! I hope to get the order in tomorrow so we can get some type of holiday/new year cards out to everyone.

We are off for a ten day trip to Phoenix in 10 days. I am very excited to see all of Bernie's family and have the kids with their cousins. Being with my Fagg cousins was the highlight of my childhood and I am sad our kids won't have that same closeness. But I'm sure they will have fun when they have the opportunity.

Bennett is 3!

Bennett had his third birthday on Thanksgiving this year. He has already made out with an impressive haul. We got him a train table, complete with way too many train accessories. He has been really loving trains for the past few months and always plays with them whenever he has the chance. It's so cute to listen to him squeal "tains!" and "choo choo" when one catches his eye. Grandma Jackie gave Bennett The Very Hungry Caterpillar themed bedding. It is perfect in his room and even had two pillow cases with Bennett's name embroidered on them. The new bedding meant it was time for the real big boy full-size bed.

My mom was here, so she took the kids out while we got everything ready for the big reveal. We had to entirely rearrange Bennett's room to get everything to fit well. And it was a risk to do everything suddenly as Bennett doesn't always love a change in routine, but this worked out. He was so happy to see everything and proceeded to play with the trains and cuddle in his new bed. He loves the sheets with all the stuff the caterpillar ate and spends time every day counting the oranges, plums ("pums!), etc.

Bennett's party isn't even until this weekend. It is also VHC themed and Mom is going a bit overboard. I have found Etsy to be a great party planning/decorating resource for those of us who lack any artistic and creative abilities. I'll be sure to take a lot of pictures.

My mom stayed for a little over a week. Overall, we had a good time and everyone is still living. So that's a win. We bought her an Ipad for all mom-related holidays for the next two years. She took a couple of classes for that at the Apple store and seems to be doing well with it so far. We really didn't do anything else very exciting while she was here. She made some yummy food as is her habit.

Unfortunately, after she left, Vivian and I came down with the stomach flu. Bernie got it a few days later. Bennett seems to have been only mildly affected up to now...I hope we can at least get through his party. And then maybe we can avoid having that type of illness when we go to Phoenix over Christmas.

I am going to register Bennett for preschool tomorrow and maybe we will take him over on Thursday. I am really excited/sad/nervous for him to start. I think he will do well, but I guess it's my job to worry about it.

I have been walking/slash running with a friend of mine. We are trying to get ready for a 5K in April. It's not easy getting out to exercise with Bernie's work schedule + 2 kids, but we are managing a 2-3 times per week (except when someone is vomiting of course). We are quite the sight with our huge strollers and four screaming children. Vivian gets especially pissy for some reason.

I just asked Bernie if there was anything I was forgetting about and he wanted me to remind everyone how great of a husband he is. And he's right of course.

We have been going to JC Penney portrait studio a few times a year since Bennett was born. It is important to me to get milestone pictures of the kids and family photos every once in awhile. I know they aren't the most professional or creative photos, but they were serving the intended purpose. Anyway, they are habitually late. And it makes me crazy. It's especially bad when you get two kids ready, schedule the appointment when they will be happiest, and then have to wait 20 minutes while the prior session finishes. I thought I solved this problem by only booking the first appointment of the day. We went in at 10am today and no one was there. We waited 10 minutes and then told the manager we were leaving and not coming back. I am finished with that bullshit. Consider this my official warning to anyone else in Longmont...go somewhere else for your photos. I don't think I will go to that store if not absolutely necessary...like when they send me $10 free coupons.

The photo drama leaves me in a conundrum. Vivian just turned one and Bennett will be three. And it is time for a family photo. We wanted to have my friend Sara's husband Tyson take them while we were in GF this past summer, but my dad's drama and Vivian's allergy issues prevented that from happening. So, I am going to try and find someone around here. I have one person in mind, but if anyone has any recommendations, please let me know.

In more exciting news, I think we have decided on a preschool for Bennett. I was originally convinced that we would send him to Tiny Tim (where his therapists work) for at least this spring. It's a great program that combines typical and challenged kids with qualified teachers and therapy. Sounds perfect, right?? Well, we decided to go through the school district's evaluation as well to see what they might offer. They recommended a public preschool near our house. We checked it out this week and really like it. There are only 6 kids in the classroom with two adults (the teacher and an assistant). Speech and occupational therapists come in each week to work with the kids while in class. The teacher is a special education teacher and has experience with kids like Bennett. She was very nice. So, I think we are going to take the leap of faith and start him there in January (Tues/Thurs mornings). We will have another IEP meeting next week to iron out the details and sign paperwork.

We will probably continue to see his current OT and ST at Tiny Tim as well. We will see how he does with that plan and adjust as needed. I don't want him to be too overwhelmed.

Trip recap, etc.

We had a nice (but short) trip to Minneapolis. The kids really enjoyed seeing Grandma and Auntie Jodi. It didn't take them long to warm up because Grandma had beed doing lots of Facetime with them before we left. The wedding was fun, although the ceremony itself was not something the kids were able to make it through...not that I expected them to make it through an hour in a church in the first place. I think we stayed for the first 20 minutes and then watched some Mickey Mouse in the car. Bernie enjoyed seeing his friends again. He's right that that was probably the last time they will all be together for the foreseeable future.

If anyone ever gets to that area with kids, the children's museum in St. Paul was great and so was the Thai restaurant across the street. I am still thinking about that food. It's nice to be able to go into a restaurant and order basically anything off of the menu and not worry about there being any dairy in it.

We got back the day before Halloween, so there wasn't much time to prepare. Bennett went as a pirate in jammies (sans hat) and Vivian donned her cupcake gear. She stayed in the wagon while Bennett and I went door to door. He filled his bag by going around the block and is now constantly asking me for "cany!" I suppose I should hide the bag or something. Maybe Vivian can wear the Mickey outfit I got for Bennett this year.

We are happy with our new phones and the ipad was so awesome to have for the plane ride. Bennett is already a pro at one of the preschool apps. I am looking into a few options of speech apps we can work with at home. He continues to make good progress and will now try to imitate almost every word you say when asked. He knows his numbers 1-10, most letters by sight, shapes, and colors. I think there is a lot in his head we just can't know because of his communication challenges. His new favorite thing in the world is trains. He says "choo choo" every time we see one or talk about them. I guess the train table sitting in the basement was a good choice for a birthday gift. Now I just have to find somewhere to put it which involves selling some more of the baby stuff on Craigslist.

Vivian is now our 1 year old baby. She is experimenting with crawling on her hands and knees more. I don't see her walking in the immediate future as she doesn't even like to practice while we hold her hands. She is quite the little imitator though. Her current favorite think is playing patty-cake complete with hand-clapping, rolling, patting, and throwing it in the oven. Hopefully I can get a video of that soon.

Annoying

I took Bennett in for his follow-up today and his pediatrician looked at the xray and saw NO pneumonia...thought the ER was just playing is safe. So, yeah.

Also, pics on the Flickr page are going to be out of sequence. I posted some of Viv's birthday party yesterday, and now I'm going to start getting caught up by going back to September 2nd.

Our step into modernity, Vivian's Bday party, etc.

Bernie and I have finally gotten smart-phones-two iphones to be exact. He got the 4 and I got the 4s. We have been thinking about it for a long time and our contract has been up for over a year. So we decided to go for it and signed up with Verizon. This is the first time we even have a text plan. We have been having fun getting familiar with all of the phone features and playing a little bit of Angry Birds. The Siri voice feature on my phone is especially fun. I swore at it earlier today and it said "watch your language!' Ha! And seriously, I don't know if I will ever need another camera. It's such a convenient way to take photos. We are really going to get teched up on Friday when I go pick out my ipad birthday present. I think that will be nice to have on our two upcoming plane trips with the kiddos.

We had Vivian's first birthday party over the weekend. It was a co-party with her friend Audrey who also turned one. It was a fall costume themed party. Vivian was a cupcake and Bennett was a pirate (Aside: I got Bennett a really cute Mickey Mouse costume at a garage sale. I have been slowly introducing him to it for a month, but there is no way he is dealing with that shit. I had to emergency order him a set of pirate jammies from Old Navy. They're cute too, but I thought this was the year for a real costume). I made an owl cake with pyrex bowls, which was my first foray into making a non-regular cake. I will have to post pics of it later. It only stood up for about an hour before toppling over, but everyone at least got a chance to see it. Vivian got scared by some noise and didn't really get into her smash cake moment. But it was otherwise a good time.

Bennett and Bernie have been sporting cold symptoms since Saturday. Last night, Bennett got really weird with his breathing. It was fast and labored. He seemed agitated and was coughing constantly. The breathing thing was really freaking me out so I made Bernie take him to the ER and midnight. His oxygen was a bit low. The chest x-rays revealed a small spot of pneumonia. He is on antibiotics now and we will follow up with the pediatrician tomorrow. I'm glad we ended up taking him.

I have set up times to observe three pre-schools for Bennett. In some ways I feel like we should look at more, but then I feel a bit suffocated by all of the choices. I'm hoping we can find something we really like from the first three and that they will have a spot. Keep your fingers crossed. Now I'm delving into the question of which school district we want to be in. It's all so adult of me!

We are off to Minneapolis next week for a wedding. Bernie's mom and youngest sister will be meeting us there. We are looking forward to it...as long as we get well!

The Kids in Bulletpoints

Bennett

-finally saying "help" when he needs it. I can't tell you what a breakthrough this is.
-is getting therapy three times per week
-is taking a tumbling (beginning level gymnastics) class that he seems to enjoy. The boy loves his gross motor activities
-gets excited to see his friend Noah
-still loves to cuddle and read books
-is waking more often at night yelling. I don't know if he has started to have nightmares or what.
-loves to ride in the van and look at power lines
-STILL loves to watch the laundry in the washing machine
-enjoys eating green peppers like apples straight out of the garden
-is very into his routines, but doesn't get too mad if they are changed
-is going to be three in two months!
-would eat constantly if allowed
-will be beginning the preschool transition soon. We are meeting with the school district to do their evaluation the first week in October.
-still loves his blanket and thumb
-favorite toys are cars and trains

Vivian
-pulls up to stand on everything, but has not started cruising yet
-puts all food in her mouth and seems to promptly spit it all back out
-waves to say hello, plays peek-a-boo like a pro, mimics words, talks on the phone, and gave the sign for "all done" tonight at dinner.
-pulls on my hair every chance she gets. It seems to be her comfort object
-gave up the pacifier on her own a couple of months ago (much to my annoyance some days), five months earlier than Bennett gave up his.
-has eaten out of a bottle two times in her life and is doing well with sippy cups
-does not love car rides as much as Bennett
-still wakes up 2-3 times per night. Between her and Bennett, I don't know how I function some days
-has to take two baths every day to help with her eczema (which is so much better).
-is going to be one in one month!
-enjoys following Bennett around and getting into his business whenever possible.

Tomatoes the size of softballs.

We have some of those here. And they are the beautiful multicolor heirloom variety. I went to pick two of them yesterday after not-so-patiently waiting weeks for them to ripen and found that some sort of critter got to them first. The bottoms were eaten out of them. The critter better not show its face, or it will be dead. I cut the parts out that were chewed up, but I don't know if I can bring myself to eat them.

I have been avoiding the blog update recently. I just can't seem to muster the will to write about what is going on in our lives. Things are mostly status quo. Bennett had his first session with the developmental interventionist this morning and it went OK. We are hoping she can help out with his transition to preschool coming up in January. Right now all of Bennett's therapy services are through Childfind, which provides early intervention for under 3's free of cost. So all of our sessions are in the home or community (usually the park). When Bennett's third birthday rolls around, everything will switch to the local school district. Then our co-pays and visit limitations will apply (currently 50 combined for all disciplines for a year). And therapy will be at the center the therapists work through. It should be interesting trying to shuttle him and Vivian to three appointments every week. It sounds like they will try to combine most sessions with preschool when that starts. Bernie has to start looking at other insurance plan options. We are going to blow through 50 sessions in about 3-4 months.

Bennett has had a bit of an explosion in speaking lately. He has probably added about 20 new words in the last couple of weeks. They might not be understandable to everyone, but we can tell what his is saying. Examples include, train, choo-choo, bus, pop, hop, and I did it! I've even heard a couple of "mamas" out of him when he really wants something. Fingers crossed the at progress continues to be made.

Poor Vivian has been sick for the past two days. She has had a fever on and off along with the stuffy nose. And she just puked as well, so I'm sure we are in for fun for the next 24 hours. Especially when she can't sleep for longer than an hour at night and 15 minutes during the day.

I think we have almost made the decision that Colorado will be our permanent home. We have been here for over four years now and made some great friends. And I'm not sure you could find a better place than Boulder County to raise a kid like Bennett. The opportunities and resources are overwhelmingly endless. I can't see going back to Great Falls and we can't wait for five years for something to open up in Phoenix or Missoula. I am ready to make a decision. We are talking about getting our forever house in about 18 months as well. I am already obsessively considering where it will be.

I guess the most important issue I need to report on is Bennett's developmental evaluation. He was diagnosed with pervasive developmental disorder-not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS). It's still a bit confusing to me, but I do understand that it is on the autism spectrum. There are so many things we need to get done now. He needs more speech therapy, there are a million books to read, a billion theories to sort through, and classes we need to get signed up for. The barrage of acronyms has just begun. We have IEP's and IFSP's to consider and we barely know what they are. I am optimistic. I think Bennett's potential is great and we are getting an early start.

My dad was discharged from the nursing home this week and is now with my uncle Joe's family in Wyoming. He has had a rough couple of days and already a trip to the ER. He is nauseous and barely eating. Everyone is hoping he will be able to settle in soon. I can't see him going anywhere else if he can't make it there. We will have to start considering a long-term facility placement for him I think.

I decided to step down as the coordinator of the 2012 walk due to all of the excitement. I will still be very involved in the planning, but I can't take on the full responsibility.

Miss Vivian has started to pull herself up. I can't believe it. She will be a year old in less than two months. Speaking of birthdays, I have already started to plan both parties. Vivian is having a co-party with her friend Audrey who will also be one. It is going to be a dress-up party since their birthdays are so close to Halloween. Bennett is having a Very Hungry Caterpillar themed party. I am so feaking excited about Bennett's party. He loves the VHC and I have gotten some great ideas off the internet. We are going to decorate his room with the bedding from Pottery Barn Kids (OMG CUTE). His Grandma Jackie just ordered everything for him yesterday as a gift. All of that is definitely a bright spot in all of the difficulty lately.

Bad Blogger!

It's been awhile...a very busy while. I'm having a hard time organizing any coherent thoughts for this post, so my apologies in advance.

We have been home from the ND/MT trip for about 10 days. Overall it was a good time, with a little bit of drama mixed in just for fun. Being at the in-laws house in ND was relaxing. Bernie took a lot of naps and we got to do fun things with Bennett. We went to the train museum and the zoo. We've been to the zoo in Denver a couple of times, and while it is of course bigger, it is not necessarily better. The one in Bismarck is easier to get through and sooooo much less busy. It's just a better time for Bennett who is still too young to fully appreciate the variety/bigness in Denver. The boy really just wants to squeal at the ducks and geese after all. I got a pedicure with my MIL and Bernie and I even got nine holes of golf in. That's a first since Vivian was born and it was very enjoyable.

About halfway through our time there, I found out that my dad fell and broke his hip while staying with my aunt in Seeley Lake. He was taken to Missoula where he had the entire thing replaced. Then we transferred him back to Great Falls to do his rehab at MRM. There was some initial drama with him freaking out the first night/day, but he seems to have settled in as well as can be expected. I think he will already be leaving next week if all goes well. At first, my family and I were feeling like he couldn't leave again because he just isn't safe. But, he's going to fall no matter where he is. And at least he is happier being with family. So it sounds like he is going to stay with my uncle Joe and his family in northern Wyoming for a bit. I'm afraid something will happen and he will get stuck down there, but that's what everyone wants to do. My saint of an aunt Kathy needs a well-deserved break. After Wyoming, I don't know what will happen. The thought of him in our tri-level stair-filled house is scary now and I don't think we will be able to take him on.

Things were low-key in GF other than stuff related to my dad. We ate out a few times, saw my family, and did a little bit of class reunioning. I am very glad we only did the Hi Ho meetup. That was plenty of seeing high school people for me for the next ten years. It was of course great to see Sara and Amy Ophus and a select few other people.

Vivian's skin is looking so much better. It must have taken awhile for the dairy to completely clear her system, but she is looking all sparkly and healthy now. She still has a couple of crease areas that like to flare up, but those are easily remedied with Cetaphil or the steroid cream. The two baths a day thing can be a bit time consuming, but I will ask the allergist at her follow-up in a few weeks if we can knock it down to one. And I'm still losing weight...so cutting out the dairy is good for something!

Bennett's developmental evaluation was today. It wasn't overly long or traumatic like I thought it was going to be. It took about two hours and mostly just consisted of him playing with the evaluation team. I felt good about what they saw. It seemed like a fair picture of what Bennett is on a daily basis. I was talking with Bennett's OT last week about stating pre-school. She felt like he was ready. There are a million options in the area. We will likely talk more about this at his 6 month evaluation in September. I'm thinking it won't be until January and only a two half day a week type of thing. It's crazy to even think about it!

Our garden is awesome this year! We are finally growing some fruitful plants. We have tons of tomatoes, carrots, onions, peppers, and swiss chard. Next year, I think we will plant the peppers in pots and use the space to plant some garlic. My flowers have been neglected, but oh well.

I am organizing local Preeclampsia Foundation volunteers to work at a patient education booth at the American Association of Birth Centers conference in Denver the first week in September. I don't have a problem with birth centers/natural birthing type stuff, but I am afraid we are going to get lots of bullshit from some practitioners about how if "women just ate this/that they wouldn't get preeclampsia," and "I've never seen preeclampsia in my practice" crap. I really hope that since the director of the conference invited the PF herself, this won't be the case. That should keep me busy for the rest of the month before Promise Walk planning starts up again in September/October!

We are going on vacation soon. Well, as much as our yearly trip to North Dakota and Montana counts as a vacation. The driving tends to be a bit much and it will be interesting to see how the whole thing goes off with two kiddos. I'm sure the DVD player in the van will be getting some heavy use. There are a few other trips in the works. One of Bernie's good high school friends is getting married on Vivian's birthday in Minneapolis. I really enjoyed it when we where there a few years ago, so we plan to stay a few extra days. And it looks like we are spending Christmas in Phoenix...I won't complain about that.

We were planing to go to my high school reunion while in Great Falls, but things have been badly organized. And the only people I care to see aren't all that interested in going, so we will be meeting outside of the reunion.
i
My dad will be leaving Great Falls with. We will drop him off in Sheridan Wyoming where he will stay with my Uncle Joe and family until he decides he wants to come down to our house. I'm not nervous yet, but I'm sure it will be a challenge. He's going to need to be prepared for some serious kid noise and sleeping in the family room. He is doing ok in Seeley Lake, but has had a couple of anxiety meltdowns related to trying to stop his meds cold turkey. It seems like he has learned his lesson, but I never count on anything with him.

It seems we have finally figured out Vivian's skin. Her eye area got really bad about 12 days after I cut out the dairy. That coupled with a three hour vomiting episode got me thinking that it must be something else. She saw the allergist on Monday and the only thing she tested allergic to was indeed dairy. The skin test didn't look like much, but the blood test was 3 on a scale from one to 6. So definitely no dairy for her or for me until we are done nursing. Her growing out of it is iffy. We will check yearly to see what is going on. Her skin is looking much better now. It must have taken a bit longer for the dairy to clear her system (that and the food I ate at the restaurant the night before the puking episode must have had dairy in it). She is also allergic to dogs,but Hailey isn't near her hardly ever. The doc didn't think that had anything to do with her recent flare up.

We had our first intake appointment for Bennett's autism appointment. It was just a short interview with the psychologist for Bernie and me. I have to make a video of him playing with other kids and fill out yet more paperwork before they will schedule the actual evaluation. I'm hoping to get all of that done before we leave.

Our anniversary was Friday. We didn't do anything too exciting as our baby sitter wimped out. But Bernie did surprise me with a massage at a local spa (an awesome one btw) and flowers. The flowers had five red roses for the number of years we have been married, two white ones for our babies, and one yellow gerber daisy for Hailey. I was impressed with the thought that went into it! I didn't do anything for him, but there might be a surprise in the works for when we get home!

Marlena and the boys stopped by for a night on their way back to Great Falls. We had a lovely day full of gabbing as usual.

Happy 4th of July!

I just spent the last 30 minutes trying to get red window crayon out of our white carpet. Vivian decided to eat part of the crayon, spread it all over her face, and then the carpet. It doesn't look perfect, but it never did to begin with. I fucking hate carpet. Not sure if I've ever sworn on this blog before. That's how strongly I feel about it. Since the stupid spot cleaner is out of the basement, I've refilled the solution and might tackle some other areas after the kids are in bed tonight. Fun times on a Saturday night!

Bernie is on evening shifts currently and will remain on them through the holiday. I am taking the kids over to a friends BBQ today and Michaela and Craig's house on Monday (I should probably go RSVP), so we will stay busy. I hope to avoid too many fireworks as they have always freaked me out. Luckily they are mostly illegal in Longmont. We are often in Mandan with Bernie's family over the 4th where almost anything goes. I hide in the house for most of the night! Bernie got Bennett some snaps and snakes. I'm sure he will get a kick out of those.

The race is finally over...for this year anyway. I don't plan to start on too much planning for next year until September. I'm hopeful that Mindy and I can find a few more people who want to be involved to make things go more smoothly. It would be great to be able to delegate tasks and not worry so much about every little thing. The actual event went well with a few to-be-expected hiccups (not enough shade in 90 degree heat for example). I haven't gotten any complaints from those who attended. It was very emotional with Mindy and I crying at multiple points during the morning. Overall, it was well worth the effort.

We are at over $17,500 now. It's possible we could still get to $20,000, depending on donations over the next month and employer matches. We had just over 200 participants. I had no idea what to expect. I did think there would be more walk-ups than we ended up having, but it is probably best that we didn't get inundated the first time. The guy who timed and managed the race thought we did well and that anytime there are 200 at a first-time race, things look good for growth in the future. We raised the registration price from by $5 at our event (compared to other PW's in the nation) to pay for the management and timing. We fell short about by $300.

Vivian is having all kinds of trouble with her skin. It has always been sensitive, but earlier this week it broke out badly. It was red, scaly, and itchy. I took her to the MD and she was disagosed with eczema. He thought it was related to a dairy intolerance. So now I am on a dairy-free diet which isn't as bad as I had thought. The saddest part is no mochas. BOOOO. Vivian also has a prescription skin oil and things are looking much better. Her poor eye still looks red and itchy though. We'll see how things go until her nine month appointment in a couple of weeks and talk about adding the dairy back in slowly to see what happens.

Vivi also finally sprouted her first tooth yesterday! At least seeing it explained why she was up crying fore three hours the night before.

Race, kids, and cats

Things are very very busy in our lives right now. The race is so close now that it takes up all of my free time. I knew this would be a lot of work, but I now have a healthy respect for anyone that undertakes such a project. It seems like I hear no 20 times for every time I hear yes. I'm hopeful that next year it will be easier--and that Mindy and I will have more local help. Everything is shaping up decently though. Our goody bags are not going to be as full as I would like and we only got one $50 sponsor. But we have raised almost $15,000, which is significantly more than the $10,000 goal we started with. I'm optimistic that we could get to $20,000 and make it into the top 5 walks in the U.S.

We are trying to make the most of the nice weather as well. It's not crazy ass hot yet but it has been warm enough for Bennett to enjoy the backyard pool. I am jealous of that child's skin. It's a nice even color and he tans so easily. Vivian on the other hand got her skin from me-white, sensitive, and splotchy.

After the race it's only three or four weeks until we head to North Dakota and Great Falls. It should be interesting with all of the flooding. I'm not sure how I feel about the high school reunion. We are going to go, but I agree with the rest of you about the terrible organization. We should be able to make some fun out of it I hope.

Speaking of flooding, Bernie went to Great Falls to work in their office last week to help them out. It was the first time I had been alone with both kids. We made it through, but not without a few "good mom" moments. My favorite was when I accidentally left the door to the garage open and Bennett disappeared for a few minutes. Just when I was about to freak out, I found him driving the van with a huge grin on his face. I won't be a fan of doing it again any times soon. It is amazing how difficult it is not to have the small breaks you are used to when in comes to parenting. And I missed Bernie too of course.

Vivian has finally turned on the solid food machine. She has been spitting almost everything out for the past six weeks. For two days now she has been scarfing everything down. We all had a cold last week and she was still looking sick yesterday. I took her to the doctor and of course all was fine. I'm hoping she will get over everything soon so we might have a healthy week or two around here.

Bennett had his follow-up appointment with his doctor regarding his speech and occupational therapy. He seems to be making some progress with his sensory issues, but his speech remains the same or maybe worse. His is still at about three words and endless unintelligible babble. The therapists think his sensory difficulties are actually causing his speech delay. I have no idea. It's just frustrating to not be making speech progress. His doctor recommended a developmental evaluation at Children's Hospital to check for Autism, so we have to figure that out soon. The waiting list is 4 months long and the actual appointment lasts 5 hours.

I am going to ask opinions on a ridiculous subject. There is a cat in the neighborhood that roams free. It is not a stray, has a collar, and seems well-looked-after. In fact, it's owner came to the door with a flier explaining the cat and it's history as an outdoor cat. There have been instances where I have been plating flowers in my outdoor pots and have found cat shit. This pisses me off. I compare it to my dog. I don't let her roam around wherever she wants and let her shit on other people's property. Could you imagine what would happen if I did? Am I just a cat-hating bitch to say that these people should keep their animals on their own property?

End of May update

I'm starting to freak out a little about the race. It's getting so close now. I'm starting to have the racing mind syndrome when I try to go to sleep at night which makes rest challenging. The walk-through with the park manager was last week and it went well. We're just needing to iron out about one bajillion details. I think what I am most nervous about is how much money we raise. The costs to put on the race are going to be around $4000. I want to be able to clear at least $10,000 as a donation. 5K's are so popular around here though that I expect we will have many walk-ups on race day. Hopefully that will get us there.

Vivian is on the move! She rolls everywhere and has begun the inchworm crawl. She is also laughing more often which is nice. She was such a somber little thing for so long. Oh, and did I mention that she slept from 7:30pm to 4:40am without eating last night. I should probably delete that because it won't happen again tonight I'm sure. But other than the exploding/painful boob issue, it was awesome.

Bennett is being himself. He is loving to spend time outside, so the warm temps we've been promised next week are going to be nice. He also seems to be in a whining phase which wears on my nerves some days. If he could just say a few words I'm sure the whining would lessen. It sucks to be unable to communicate effectively with him.

I need to start losing weight. I have done nothing but gain more since having Vivian...about 8 lbs in the last few months. I just kept hoping that breastfeeding would take it off of me, but I have to face the reality that I am just not one of those women. Instead I'm going to have to, you know, take responsibility for it my own self.

My dad is getting discharged in the next week. He still plans to go to my aunt Kathy's for a couple of weeks before going down to Wyoming. My confidence level of this actually happening is low as he has been unwilling to leave the nursing home to simply go out to dinner at the Amigo half a mile away. Only time will tell I suppose. His house is going on the market tomorrow and my mom expects there will be multiple offers. I suppose some investor will buy it, tear it to the ground, and build a rental.

Emergency Trip to Great Falls

We had to travel to Great Falls last Monday. My aunt called and told me that my dad was in the hospital. He had called the neighbor asking for a gun because he just wanted to die. The neighbor went over to find exposed electrical wires, knives, and a gun (I imagine he didn't have any bullets or the gun was non-functioning). The neighbor called 9-11.

It turned out that my dad was in an enormous amount of pain and had oxygen saturations in the 70's. He was having a very difficult time breathing. When they listened to his lungs, they couldn't hear anything. He had a punctured lung. He told me that he has been falling frequently at home and likely got the puncture during one of the falls.

I think most people who read this blog knows, but just in case anyone is unaware...my dad has a genetic disease called spinocerebellar ataxia. This is a progressively debilitating and incurable disease. My grandmother started showing signs in her mid-forties and died in 2006. She slowly declined over the course of 20 years or so. My dad started showing signs a bit earlier and seems to be progressing more rapidly. He is 51 and looks to be about 70. He walks unsteadily with a walker and is probably about a year from a wheelchair. His gait, coordination, speech, and eyesight with continually deteriorate until he is unable to preform daily activities.

He ended up staying in the hospital for one week. The first couple of days were rough because he continued to voice his desire to die. At that point, we were seriously considering hospice because he wasn't eating or drinking anything. Then the doctor prescribed him a pain medication that works on the nerves (his disease causes very painful degeneration of the nerves) and he became a different person. It seems that he has been living in terrible pain for some time now, he refused to see any doctors or take any meds since his last hospital stay five years ago. The pain med along with the anti-depressant have really helped his outlook. He has been much less stubborn, accepting of help, and is even dealing with the real future.

Dad has been living alone and stubbornly refusing any assistance. For years he denied that he even had the disease and sought refuge in some far-out religious views. He felt that God would cure him if he had enough faith and that he would go on to live a normal life. It was infuriating and frustrating to talk to him sometimes because there was no recognition of the reality of his situation or need for future planning. Something seems to have genuinely shifted in him after this incident. He let me help, and not just a little. He was happy to let me basically take charge and get the shit done that needed to be done for years. He agreed that he couldn't stay in the house anymore and didn't flinch when we told him it was getting cleaned out and put on the market. We got health care and financial powers of attorney done. I have gotten rid of one of his cars and am working on the second one. The man has been paying for car insurance but hasn't driven in three years. He was also paying for internet for a computer that hasn't been touched in at least four years. We got all of that canceled. I got all the money he has been hoarding at home in the bank.

He is now staying in a nursing home for a stint of rehab. The plan is for him to travel around and live with different family members after that. He has been talking about doing this for some time. I was very hesitant at first, but have come around over the last week. Who knows how much time he has left, and if he is able to handle it, I don't want to stop him from having one last adventure in this lifetime. He will stay with my uncle Joe in Wyoming for a couple of months and then head down here when we leave Great Falls in August. I don't know how it's going to work in our house (multiple levels), but we are willing to give it a try. After that he wants to go straight to the nursing home.

The house was a HORRIBLE mess. There was standing water in the basement along with a few years worth of mold growth. Mice shit everywhere. I am afraid for the person they hired to take everything to the dump. It's so hard to believe that he has been living like that for so long.

We just got home a couple of days ago and are trying to catch up with life. I have fallen behind with everything, but the walk is weighing most heavily at this point. Hopefully we can get things under control next week.

General Stuff Post

The coolest thing about the new van: how it works with my ipod. I never liked to use the ipod in the car before even though I had a connector because scrolling around on the stupid thing while trying to drive is annoying, not to mention dangerous. The van has a USB port in the glove box. I plugged the ipod into it and my entire library is on the regular vehicle display. And it is super easy to search through and find what you want using the van controls...sort of like finding a radio station. I'm sure this has been around for awhile, but I'm consistently behind the tech curve.

Vivian is officially six months. We have started trying solids, but thus far she spits everything out (tried cereal, fruit, and veggies). We'll just keep offering at this point. She seemed sooo interested, I thought she'd take to it right away. File that prediction under the growing pile of "mom thinks she knows how the kids will react to something, but not really." Her MD appointment went well. She's 16 lbs. 11 oz and 25.5 inches which is all right around 50th percentile. She is rolling all over the place and (please don't jinx it) sleeping a bit better. The last couple of nights she slept from 7:30 to 1:30 (with a few short interrruptions) and again from 1:30 to 5:00 or so. Then I bring her to bed with me for the last couple of hours.

Bennett is getting a couple of words out consistently and clearly. The ones I can think of at the moment are "hi" and "no." He is babbling repeated letters a lot, so I hope he is on his way in that department. He has been having more fun being around other children and making more eye contact as well. All good things. I still worry about him all the time, but I suppose that won't stop no matter what.

My dad is still saying that he needs to move out of the house by the end of the summer. He usually changes his mind, but for now I am running with it. I requested applications for Eagles Manor and Park Manor in GF. He agreed I could fill them out just in case he decided to move to one (rather than traveling around the country every few months to live different relatives). Both places offer some light housekeeping as well as meals. I hope he will decide to give it a try. I'm not sure how long he will last there until he needs more assistance and has to move to the nursing home. He would be a great candidate for assisted living, but doesn't have the money. Montana has waiver spots (long waiting lists) at ALF's for Medicaid recipients, but he has consistently refused to apply. It took some convincing to apply for disability a few years ago.

I think I will buy our vegetable plants this week and get those in. My goal is to get a couple of good tomato producers this year. I have had trouble in the past. Usually I plant 3 or 4 and only 1-2 make it.

We are over $8,000 for the race today! I'm getting excited to raise our goal and very nervous that it's less than two months away. We still don't have any real cash sponsorships which is really frustrating when you've applied to what seems like a zillion places. But we do have food, coffee, and possibly some fruit. I'm trying to stay positive and send good vibes out into the universe. Maybe good things will bounce back.

Do you get some mom pants with that mini-van?

I think that's what Amy asked me when I told her we were going to purchase the mom-mobile. And no, it didn't come with a pair...but I plan to buy myself some along with a patchwork vest to wear whenever I am driving around in it. Seriously though, you can't take it away now that I have it. I've been driving it for about two weeks and love it. Automatic doors, heated seats, and lots of room for everything. It's a little different than driving the Prius around with two kids. It's silver 2011 Honda Odyssey with gray leather interior. Honda did a redesign this year and at first I though it was ugly. Now I'm getting used to it. My fellow mom-friend Jermaine says it looks "mean," so that's something.

Bernie has sold his truck. Every shred of his man-hood is now gone.

Bernie's parents are leaving tomorrow after staying the weekend. I always wish they would stay longer, but they need to get back to North Dakota after spending multiple months in Phoenix. We didn't do anything too exciting. But Bernie's dad got the "papa-do" list whittled down and we finally planted some trees in the backyard. It sounds like we are going to be doing some fairly serious landscaping ourselves back there this summer.

We have had tickets to see U2 for about 18 months now. Last year, the concert was canceled because of Bono's back. It was rescheduled for this May. I don't think I'm going to be able to go because we will be gone 6+ hours. Vivian is not ready to be away from me for that long and we have not had any luck getting her to take a bottle (haven't tried in a few months). Add that with the recent case of stranger strangeness we have been having and it's not a great situation for concert-going. I'm a little disappointed, but not too much. I'm sure Bernie can find someone else who will have more fun than me. All I would do is worry about the kids. I did go to trivia last night for my first real outing since Vivian was born. And we won for once in our miserable lives.

Vivian will be six months old in 10 days. Other than the couple of teaspoons of cereal she had last week, she has been exclusively breastfed the entire time. I think it's one of the proudest accomplishments of my life thus far...especially after all the guilt-inducing drama I had trying to breastfeed and pump for Bennett. However, I think teeth are on their way. I hope Vivian will be nice to her mama.

Well there's that goal down the drain

The update twice a month goal. I will try harder next month. It seems like we've been really busy, although I can't remember specific things we have done. I think I will try a list approach this time.

Bennett

1) He has been getting speech therapy every week for about a month now. The therapist is really in his face and it is taking him some time to get used to it. She will do things like take his blanket and say "mine" and then wait for 10 seconds hoping he will also say it. That was one of those things I was trying to avoid, but he has such an emotional reaction to it, that the approach might be a good one. I heard him use the "m" this week when she did it. It's frustrating to keep going without much noticeable improvement. We just need to remind ourselves that it is a long-term goal.

2) Feeding therapy/OT will begin this week.

3) Bennett is such a love bug lately. He still loves to snuggle, hug, and read books.

4) We watched my aunt and uncle's guinea pig this week. Bugsey was a hit with Bennett. He spent a lot of time watching and wanting to feed her.

5) He has been loving long showers just like his mom. He would sit in there until the water got cold if we let him.

6) Still obsessed with the laundry and anything that moves in a circle. The new loves of his life are power lines. We search for them every day when we are in the car.

Vivian

1) Rolls easily both directions off of her tummy. Can roll onto her right side, and almost to her tummy.

2) She grabs absolutely everything. I forgot how razor sharp those little baby nails can be!

3) She seems very interested in eating. I let her mouth my banana or apple some days, but still hope to hold out on the solids for a few more weeks. She was five months old yesterday.

4) Sleep continues to be difficult. She is now out of the pack and play and into the crib about 50% of the time. The other 50% of the time she is in bed with me, so I can you know, get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. Naps last 20-30 minutes. I knew she was going to be a challenge because Bennett was always a pretty good sleeper. Karma just works that way it seems. Maybe that will work out into Vivian being a better eater? I will hope.

5) Her personality is shining through. Vivian smiles easy but laughter is a real challenge. In fact, I have yet to hear that first belly laugh. She is a bit of a drama queen and is not afraid to let me know when she doesn't like something.

General Life Stuff

1) Melanie's quick visit was a good time. We did a little shopping, eating, and zoo-going. It was nice to spend longer than an hour our two with them for once.

2) Bernie's parents will be back through in April. My mother plans to come out again as well.

3) I bought our onions already! The garden should be up and running in the next 5-6 weeks.

4) The run is progressing (we have raised $3900 as of tonight), although I have run out of steam for the moment. I need to regain some motivation...we only have one cash sponsor and I am really hoping to get at least a few more. I have a co-coordinator now and she is fund-raising crazy so that helps. I am super pissed that my MFM group didn't sponsor. They deal with PE every day and couldn't be bothered to even send $50. Never mind how much money they made off of Bennett's birth and Vivian's pregnancy.

5) The mini-van is coming. I will probably be driving it the first or second week in April. No making fun.

6) It's spring!

What is happening

Vivian had her four month appointment yesterday. All was well with her stats: 14 lbs. 11 oz. and 24 3/4 inches, all in the 75th percentile. Her doctor encouraged us to start solids at five months, but I'm undecided about it at the moment. I think it will more likely be around six months. We are gravitating towards a daytime sleeping schedule that is not at all rigid. She usually sleeps until 8:30am or so (after being awake multiple times at night), naps for 30 minutes during our daily outing, and then takes a longer nap in two spans while Bennett sleeps in the afternoon. Then she needs another 30 minutes or so before dinner and is usually out for the night by 7:30. I wake her to eat again before I go to be between 9 and 10. It doesn't seem that she is even close to sleeping through the night, although I don't really expect her to at this point anyway. She sleeps much better at night when swaddled, but she is old enough now that we are trying to wean it. This has led to very frequent waking that we are going to have to tough out. Her room will hopefully be ready in the next few weeks and we can begin that transition.

Speaking of transitions, Bennett has been going through a couple of his own recently. He is in his big boy bed all the time now with little trouble. We just left it in his room until he was ready to go in it himself, which only took a couple of weeks. He absolutely loves it and jumps in whenever he is in his room. He hasn't gotten out of bed yet, which probably has something to do with the darkness of his room. We haven't had to introduce a night light yet, so he can't see anything to get up for. He is also out of the highchair and we are all eating meals at the actual dining room table. That one was very easy...it just took awhile for me to get his seat ready. I suppose potty training will be the next transition. I don't think we are even remotely close to that.

Bennett will be getting speech, feeding, and play therapy which will hopefully start this or next week. I got a call asking about our insurance on Friday so I know things are in the works.

Wow! Exciting kid talk.

In more exciting news, Melanie and Gwendolyn are coming to visit in the middle of March. They will stay with us for two nights and with Melissa for two nights. I'm very excited to have them! It's always nice to have guests to break up what can be a boring routine some days.

Bernie is getting his truck ready to sell this week. We are going to become a mini van family in the very near future. It's a little bit sick, but I'm excited. It will be nice not to cram all of our crap in the Prius with the dog for traveling. Our road trip up north should be a lot more comfortable this year.

I suppose I should update on the Missoula job situation. About a week after Bernie applied, he checked on his application. Apparently it did not get forwarded to the Missoula office because he did not sent in a piece of paperwork proving that he works for the government (seriously?). He had never sent this in when applying for a job before and it had never been an issue, but this time it was. Since the application deadline had passed, he was unable to turn it in and was deemed ineligible. We were disappointed to say the least, but it turned out fine in the end. After the selection was made (someone from the Missoula office got the job), Bernie talked with the boss there and got feedback on his application. He wouldn't have gotten the job or an interview, but wasn't far off. So we got all that we would have if the application had gone through and Bernie will be able to make his resume that much better for the next opening-wherever that might be.

Oh, and spring is coming! We don't have it nearly as bad as you Montana people do, but I'm very ready anyway. Parks, walks, and regular play in the back yard...here we come.

Sigh

We have been having a rough week around the Meier household. Everyone has been sick with a nasty head cold/upper respiratory. Bennett had a high fever for a couple of days followed by the hacking and snot factory. Bernie had a milder version. Vivian and I were last but were both miserable for a few days. Both kids ended up at the doctor just to be sure it was nothing serious. Bennett and Bernie are basically better. Vivian and I are still recovering. I felt the worst for her. She's so little and helpless. Hearing those racking coughs and hoarse voice were almost enough to drive a mommy over the edge. She even puked up what little food she had in her belly a few times after a coughing fit. I rented a damn pump and everything so my supply wouldn't dip while she was busy eating hardly anything and I was getting plugged ducts.

Blah. But now we are feeling better and I really really really hope we can avoid having anyone sick for even a week or so.

And then there was Bennett's speech eval. We were referred to Colorado's early intervention program because he will likely qualify for free services due to him being significantly speech delayed. Vivian and I felt like crap, and it had just snowed a bunch, and it was cold, and can I complain a bit more about it? Anyway, we went into a room with lots of toys so they could do the eval while watching Bennett play. There was a speech pathologist, a social worker, and a psychologist (and a physical therapist about halfway through). They were asking us questions from every direction. These were questions I really could have used some time to answer. Keep in mind that I had to fill out a huge written evaluation before the meeting. Why can't you include these questions in the paperwork so we can think about it a bit? Grrr...

Vivian was absolutely pitiful and whined a hoarse whine the whole time. I was overheated and overwhelmed. I actually told Bernie that I felt like checking into the psych ward for a few days after the evaluation. I'm feeling much better today, but that was tough.

It seems that Bennett's speech delay is bleeding into other areas of his development, most importantly, his play. He doesn't seem to have much imagination or pretend play yet. Instead he is very cause and effect oriented and seems to have some compulsive behavior (must "drive" everything he picks up). So, he will be getting speech therapy as well as sessions with a feeding specialist (his eating habits are very texturally controlled). They mentioned another kind of therapy that I can't remember.

So this is all very difficult. Just when you think your preemie may have come away unscathed, they don't. I just hope we can get things back on track.

Lesson learned the hard way...

We got back from our 10 day trip to Phoenix on Thursday. On Friday, I decided it was time to get the pictures off of my camera and update the Flickr page. As soon as they were finished transferring off the camera Iphoto closed. And then it wouldn't open. It just kept coming up with an error message telling me that I needed to restore from backup. I have over 2500 photos on that program. I started to go into panic mode because I haven't backed up my computer since the middle of October. I spent most of the day trying to figure out what to do since all of Vivian's pictures have been taken after the back-up. In the end, I did have to restore to the October version of Iphoto. For some reason my computer kept all the pictures from the Phoenix (some fine, others very fuzzy for some reason) trip but all the others are gone. Granted, I have a decent number on Flickr, but I'm heartbroken that the rest of Vivian's pictures up to this point have vanished into computer limbo.

On to my question for all of the computer genius people that read this blog. I want to get the photos I have uploaded to Flickr back into Iphoto. When I try to just drop them in, they are not very good quality. Any advice on how to make this work?

I now vow to back-up my computer every time I upload new pictures. And I might not ever erase another memory card.

Enough dwelling on the depressing photo issue. Our trip to Phoenix was great. I'm glad we went for longer than the week trip this year as two days are spent mostly in travel mode. Both of the kids were so amazing on the plane. I was seriously psyched up to have the most awful experience. We got compliments from people around us about how pleasant the flight was sitting near two small children. We didn't even have to go through many snacks. Vivian is generally quite happy, especially if someone is holding and talking to her. And Bennett seemed to be in a comfort zone while in his car seat. The Mickey Mouse DVD's certainly didn't hurt.

We spent most of the trip at my SIL Crystal's house. She was there with her two kids and my mom stayed with Bernie's parents. Many margaritas were consumed. Many many Patron margaritas. Bernie got to go golfing a couple of times and lost some money at the casino. I did a little shopping. We didn't get out to eat much at all because my mother is anti eating in a restaurant.

Bennett had a difficult time with all of the chaos going on around him. His cousins are two and five and FULL of energy. Those two run around screaming and playing most of the day. He did not have much interest in running with the pack and mostly clung to Bernie or I. He would play near them only if one of us was with him. He is going through some kind of phase where he wants one of us with him to do everything. I'm sure it has something to do with Vivian. I just hope it's now some larger social issue. Still hardly any understandable talking. A mother can't help but worry. Hopefully the speech therapist will be able to help.

Now I have laundry in the dryer from yesterday to fold and a diaper blowout mess to clean up. Come on, I know you're jealous.

Twice a month

That's my goal for blogging. If I can update twice a month, I will be happy. It's always on my mind, but never the primary thing that needs to be accomplished. We'll see if it's a realistic goal. Judging by the date of my last post, probably not.

We are headed to Phoenix on Saturday for almost two weeks. Bernie's entire family will be there (minus the brother-in-law) and so will my mom. It should make for an interesting group of people, especially with my mother in attendance. I don't think we have any really exciting plans. I would like to get up to Flagstaff since there is a weather service office there...need to check out possible future locations after all. Speaking of weather service jobs, one of Missoula's management positions is coming open. I'm 95% sure Bernie is going to apply, and we're also 99% sure he won't get it. But it will be good for him to keep his resume up to date. We hope he at least gets an interview so we know how close (or not) he is to a promotion.

Vivian had her two month MD visit over two weeks ago now. Everything looked great. Last week at the weigh in I take her to she was 12 lbs. 11 oz. I looked back at Bennett's adjusted growth and they are fairly close. We'll see if Vivian keeps up with him.

I need need need to get some exercise in my days when we get back from Phoenix. I think I will try some stroller strides with just Vivian when Bernie has days off during the week. I enjoyed that with Bennett. And maybe some Wii fit if I can find a game that gives a decent work out. The one it comes with is a joke.

Whoever said breastfeeding takes the weight off is a dirty liar. I keep waiting, but the scale never goes down.

We took Bennett for his speech eval last week and were not surprised by the results. She felt he was "significantly delayed" and needs to have therapy. In fact, she thinks he will qualify for free therapy through the school district because he is likely below the 8th percentile in his speech. So we have an appointment set up for that when we get home. If he does qualify, they will come to the house until he is three and then he can get therapy in the pre-school in our district. It hurt a bit to hear that, but I'm glad we are going to get some help with it. They may be able to help us out with some issues that seem sensory as well (especially his eating habits).

I am in the thick of organizing the preeclampsia walk. It is quite the undertaking. We're hoping to raise $10,000. To that end, I am compiling lists of sponsors and sending out the letters. Then we need a route map, mileage chips, portable toilets, trash cans, entertainment, food, etc. The list seems endless at the moment. We did get a great location at a park in downtown Denver, so that big part is out of the way. I'm really excited to have the opportunity to do this.

The winter is long. Even though the weather hasn't been too bad, I will be excited for spring and getting outside with the kids more.