Monday, January 28, 2013

Sorry to be such a downer

I am having a hard day.  I don't always suffer from panic attacks, and it feels so silly to be dealing with them after watching a god-damned TV show.  But that was so difficult.  Watching Lady Sybil seize and die while her baby wailed in the next room was just too much for me I guess.  I had seen the spoilers and knew what to expect, but none of that mattered.  I laid awake for over two hours unable to breathe fully and just feeling lucky and sad and lucky and sad.  Maybe it has more to do with PE being all over today, but the shallow feeling in my chest won't go away and I'm crying constantly.  But I'm thankful that the information is out there today.  I hope someone sees it who needs it.

I'm sorry if you are sick of hearing me talk about it, but I'm not going to stop.  I meet people every day who have dealt with PE.  Coordinating this walk makes me the go-to person for all of the survivors in the area.  The stories of loss and fear never end.  

Planning the walk is going well.  We even have a couple of sponsors so far.  I've sent out about 15 requests today just to get rid of some of the nervous energy.  Women dying because of pregnancy is sickening and it's unnecessary.

That's all I've got for now.