We are going on vacation soon. Well, as much as our yearly trip to North Dakota and Montana counts as a vacation. The driving tends to be a bit much and it will be interesting to see how the whole thing goes off with two kiddos. I'm sure the DVD player in the van will be getting some heavy use. There are a few other trips in the works. One of Bernie's good high school friends is getting married on Vivian's birthday in Minneapolis. I really enjoyed it when we where there a few years ago, so we plan to stay a few extra days. And it looks like we are spending Christmas in Phoenix...I won't complain about that.

We were planing to go to my high school reunion while in Great Falls, but things have been badly organized. And the only people I care to see aren't all that interested in going, so we will be meeting outside of the reunion.
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My dad will be leaving Great Falls with. We will drop him off in Sheridan Wyoming where he will stay with my Uncle Joe and family until he decides he wants to come down to our house. I'm not nervous yet, but I'm sure it will be a challenge. He's going to need to be prepared for some serious kid noise and sleeping in the family room. He is doing ok in Seeley Lake, but has had a couple of anxiety meltdowns related to trying to stop his meds cold turkey. It seems like he has learned his lesson, but I never count on anything with him.

It seems we have finally figured out Vivian's skin. Her eye area got really bad about 12 days after I cut out the dairy. That coupled with a three hour vomiting episode got me thinking that it must be something else. She saw the allergist on Monday and the only thing she tested allergic to was indeed dairy. The skin test didn't look like much, but the blood test was 3 on a scale from one to 6. So definitely no dairy for her or for me until we are done nursing. Her growing out of it is iffy. We will check yearly to see what is going on. Her skin is looking much better now. It must have taken a bit longer for the dairy to clear her system (that and the food I ate at the restaurant the night before the puking episode must have had dairy in it). She is also allergic to dogs,but Hailey isn't near her hardly ever. The doc didn't think that had anything to do with her recent flare up.

We had our first intake appointment for Bennett's autism appointment. It was just a short interview with the psychologist for Bernie and me. I have to make a video of him playing with other kids and fill out yet more paperwork before they will schedule the actual evaluation. I'm hoping to get all of that done before we leave.

Our anniversary was Friday. We didn't do anything too exciting as our baby sitter wimped out. But Bernie did surprise me with a massage at a local spa (an awesome one btw) and flowers. The flowers had five red roses for the number of years we have been married, two white ones for our babies, and one yellow gerber daisy for Hailey. I was impressed with the thought that went into it! I didn't do anything for him, but there might be a surprise in the works for when we get home!

Marlena and the boys stopped by for a night on their way back to Great Falls. We had a lovely day full of gabbing as usual.

Happy 4th of July!

I just spent the last 30 minutes trying to get red window crayon out of our white carpet. Vivian decided to eat part of the crayon, spread it all over her face, and then the carpet. It doesn't look perfect, but it never did to begin with. I fucking hate carpet. Not sure if I've ever sworn on this blog before. That's how strongly I feel about it. Since the stupid spot cleaner is out of the basement, I've refilled the solution and might tackle some other areas after the kids are in bed tonight. Fun times on a Saturday night!

Bernie is on evening shifts currently and will remain on them through the holiday. I am taking the kids over to a friends BBQ today and Michaela and Craig's house on Monday (I should probably go RSVP), so we will stay busy. I hope to avoid too many fireworks as they have always freaked me out. Luckily they are mostly illegal in Longmont. We are often in Mandan with Bernie's family over the 4th where almost anything goes. I hide in the house for most of the night! Bernie got Bennett some snaps and snakes. I'm sure he will get a kick out of those.

The race is finally over...for this year anyway. I don't plan to start on too much planning for next year until September. I'm hopeful that Mindy and I can find a few more people who want to be involved to make things go more smoothly. It would be great to be able to delegate tasks and not worry so much about every little thing. The actual event went well with a few to-be-expected hiccups (not enough shade in 90 degree heat for example). I haven't gotten any complaints from those who attended. It was very emotional with Mindy and I crying at multiple points during the morning. Overall, it was well worth the effort.

We are at over $17,500 now. It's possible we could still get to $20,000, depending on donations over the next month and employer matches. We had just over 200 participants. I had no idea what to expect. I did think there would be more walk-ups than we ended up having, but it is probably best that we didn't get inundated the first time. The guy who timed and managed the race thought we did well and that anytime there are 200 at a first-time race, things look good for growth in the future. We raised the registration price from by $5 at our event (compared to other PW's in the nation) to pay for the management and timing. We fell short about by $300.

Vivian is having all kinds of trouble with her skin. It has always been sensitive, but earlier this week it broke out badly. It was red, scaly, and itchy. I took her to the MD and she was disagosed with eczema. He thought it was related to a dairy intolerance. So now I am on a dairy-free diet which isn't as bad as I had thought. The saddest part is no mochas. BOOOO. Vivian also has a prescription skin oil and things are looking much better. Her poor eye still looks red and itchy though. We'll see how things go until her nine month appointment in a couple of weeks and talk about adding the dairy back in slowly to see what happens.

Vivi also finally sprouted her first tooth yesterday! At least seeing it explained why she was up crying fore three hours the night before.

Race, kids, and cats

Things are very very busy in our lives right now. The race is so close now that it takes up all of my free time. I knew this would be a lot of work, but I now have a healthy respect for anyone that undertakes such a project. It seems like I hear no 20 times for every time I hear yes. I'm hopeful that next year it will be easier--and that Mindy and I will have more local help. Everything is shaping up decently though. Our goody bags are not going to be as full as I would like and we only got one $50 sponsor. But we have raised almost $15,000, which is significantly more than the $10,000 goal we started with. I'm optimistic that we could get to $20,000 and make it into the top 5 walks in the U.S.

We are trying to make the most of the nice weather as well. It's not crazy ass hot yet but it has been warm enough for Bennett to enjoy the backyard pool. I am jealous of that child's skin. It's a nice even color and he tans so easily. Vivian on the other hand got her skin from me-white, sensitive, and splotchy.

After the race it's only three or four weeks until we head to North Dakota and Great Falls. It should be interesting with all of the flooding. I'm not sure how I feel about the high school reunion. We are going to go, but I agree with the rest of you about the terrible organization. We should be able to make some fun out of it I hope.

Speaking of flooding, Bernie went to Great Falls to work in their office last week to help them out. It was the first time I had been alone with both kids. We made it through, but not without a few "good mom" moments. My favorite was when I accidentally left the door to the garage open and Bennett disappeared for a few minutes. Just when I was about to freak out, I found him driving the van with a huge grin on his face. I won't be a fan of doing it again any times soon. It is amazing how difficult it is not to have the small breaks you are used to when in comes to parenting. And I missed Bernie too of course.

Vivian has finally turned on the solid food machine. She has been spitting almost everything out for the past six weeks. For two days now she has been scarfing everything down. We all had a cold last week and she was still looking sick yesterday. I took her to the doctor and of course all was fine. I'm hoping she will get over everything soon so we might have a healthy week or two around here.

Bennett had his follow-up appointment with his doctor regarding his speech and occupational therapy. He seems to be making some progress with his sensory issues, but his speech remains the same or maybe worse. His is still at about three words and endless unintelligible babble. The therapists think his sensory difficulties are actually causing his speech delay. I have no idea. It's just frustrating to not be making speech progress. His doctor recommended a developmental evaluation at Children's Hospital to check for Autism, so we have to figure that out soon. The waiting list is 4 months long and the actual appointment lasts 5 hours.

I am going to ask opinions on a ridiculous subject. There is a cat in the neighborhood that roams free. It is not a stray, has a collar, and seems well-looked-after. In fact, it's owner came to the door with a flier explaining the cat and it's history as an outdoor cat. There have been instances where I have been plating flowers in my outdoor pots and have found cat shit. This pisses me off. I compare it to my dog. I don't let her roam around wherever she wants and let her shit on other people's property. Could you imagine what would happen if I did? Am I just a cat-hating bitch to say that these people should keep their animals on their own property?

End of May update

I'm starting to freak out a little about the race. It's getting so close now. I'm starting to have the racing mind syndrome when I try to go to sleep at night which makes rest challenging. The walk-through with the park manager was last week and it went well. We're just needing to iron out about one bajillion details. I think what I am most nervous about is how much money we raise. The costs to put on the race are going to be around $4000. I want to be able to clear at least $10,000 as a donation. 5K's are so popular around here though that I expect we will have many walk-ups on race day. Hopefully that will get us there.

Vivian is on the move! She rolls everywhere and has begun the inchworm crawl. She is also laughing more often which is nice. She was such a somber little thing for so long. Oh, and did I mention that she slept from 7:30pm to 4:40am without eating last night. I should probably delete that because it won't happen again tonight I'm sure. But other than the exploding/painful boob issue, it was awesome.

Bennett is being himself. He is loving to spend time outside, so the warm temps we've been promised next week are going to be nice. He also seems to be in a whining phase which wears on my nerves some days. If he could just say a few words I'm sure the whining would lessen. It sucks to be unable to communicate effectively with him.

I need to start losing weight. I have done nothing but gain more since having Vivian...about 8 lbs in the last few months. I just kept hoping that breastfeeding would take it off of me, but I have to face the reality that I am just not one of those women. Instead I'm going to have to, you know, take responsibility for it my own self.

My dad is getting discharged in the next week. He still plans to go to my aunt Kathy's for a couple of weeks before going down to Wyoming. My confidence level of this actually happening is low as he has been unwilling to leave the nursing home to simply go out to dinner at the Amigo half a mile away. Only time will tell I suppose. His house is going on the market tomorrow and my mom expects there will be multiple offers. I suppose some investor will buy it, tear it to the ground, and build a rental.

Emergency Trip to Great Falls

We had to travel to Great Falls last Monday. My aunt called and told me that my dad was in the hospital. He had called the neighbor asking for a gun because he just wanted to die. The neighbor went over to find exposed electrical wires, knives, and a gun (I imagine he didn't have any bullets or the gun was non-functioning). The neighbor called 9-11.

It turned out that my dad was in an enormous amount of pain and had oxygen saturations in the 70's. He was having a very difficult time breathing. When they listened to his lungs, they couldn't hear anything. He had a punctured lung. He told me that he has been falling frequently at home and likely got the puncture during one of the falls.

I think most people who read this blog knows, but just in case anyone is unaware...my dad has a genetic disease called spinocerebellar ataxia. This is a progressively debilitating and incurable disease. My grandmother started showing signs in her mid-forties and died in 2006. She slowly declined over the course of 20 years or so. My dad started showing signs a bit earlier and seems to be progressing more rapidly. He is 51 and looks to be about 70. He walks unsteadily with a walker and is probably about a year from a wheelchair. His gait, coordination, speech, and eyesight with continually deteriorate until he is unable to preform daily activities.

He ended up staying in the hospital for one week. The first couple of days were rough because he continued to voice his desire to die. At that point, we were seriously considering hospice because he wasn't eating or drinking anything. Then the doctor prescribed him a pain medication that works on the nerves (his disease causes very painful degeneration of the nerves) and he became a different person. It seems that he has been living in terrible pain for some time now, he refused to see any doctors or take any meds since his last hospital stay five years ago. The pain med along with the anti-depressant have really helped his outlook. He has been much less stubborn, accepting of help, and is even dealing with the real future.

Dad has been living alone and stubbornly refusing any assistance. For years he denied that he even had the disease and sought refuge in some far-out religious views. He felt that God would cure him if he had enough faith and that he would go on to live a normal life. It was infuriating and frustrating to talk to him sometimes because there was no recognition of the reality of his situation or need for future planning. Something seems to have genuinely shifted in him after this incident. He let me help, and not just a little. He was happy to let me basically take charge and get the shit done that needed to be done for years. He agreed that he couldn't stay in the house anymore and didn't flinch when we told him it was getting cleaned out and put on the market. We got health care and financial powers of attorney done. I have gotten rid of one of his cars and am working on the second one. The man has been paying for car insurance but hasn't driven in three years. He was also paying for internet for a computer that hasn't been touched in at least four years. We got all of that canceled. I got all the money he has been hoarding at home in the bank.

He is now staying in a nursing home for a stint of rehab. The plan is for him to travel around and live with different family members after that. He has been talking about doing this for some time. I was very hesitant at first, but have come around over the last week. Who knows how much time he has left, and if he is able to handle it, I don't want to stop him from having one last adventure in this lifetime. He will stay with my uncle Joe in Wyoming for a couple of months and then head down here when we leave Great Falls in August. I don't know how it's going to work in our house (multiple levels), but we are willing to give it a try. After that he wants to go straight to the nursing home.

The house was a HORRIBLE mess. There was standing water in the basement along with a few years worth of mold growth. Mice shit everywhere. I am afraid for the person they hired to take everything to the dump. It's so hard to believe that he has been living like that for so long.

We just got home a couple of days ago and are trying to catch up with life. I have fallen behind with everything, but the walk is weighing most heavily at this point. Hopefully we can get things under control next week.

General Stuff Post

The coolest thing about the new van: how it works with my ipod. I never liked to use the ipod in the car before even though I had a connector because scrolling around on the stupid thing while trying to drive is annoying, not to mention dangerous. The van has a USB port in the glove box. I plugged the ipod into it and my entire library is on the regular vehicle display. And it is super easy to search through and find what you want using the van controls...sort of like finding a radio station. I'm sure this has been around for awhile, but I'm consistently behind the tech curve.

Vivian is officially six months. We have started trying solids, but thus far she spits everything out (tried cereal, fruit, and veggies). We'll just keep offering at this point. She seemed sooo interested, I thought she'd take to it right away. File that prediction under the growing pile of "mom thinks she knows how the kids will react to something, but not really." Her MD appointment went well. She's 16 lbs. 11 oz and 25.5 inches which is all right around 50th percentile. She is rolling all over the place and (please don't jinx it) sleeping a bit better. The last couple of nights she slept from 7:30 to 1:30 (with a few short interrruptions) and again from 1:30 to 5:00 or so. Then I bring her to bed with me for the last couple of hours.

Bennett is getting a couple of words out consistently and clearly. The ones I can think of at the moment are "hi" and "no." He is babbling repeated letters a lot, so I hope he is on his way in that department. He has been having more fun being around other children and making more eye contact as well. All good things. I still worry about him all the time, but I suppose that won't stop no matter what.

My dad is still saying that he needs to move out of the house by the end of the summer. He usually changes his mind, but for now I am running with it. I requested applications for Eagles Manor and Park Manor in GF. He agreed I could fill them out just in case he decided to move to one (rather than traveling around the country every few months to live different relatives). Both places offer some light housekeeping as well as meals. I hope he will decide to give it a try. I'm not sure how long he will last there until he needs more assistance and has to move to the nursing home. He would be a great candidate for assisted living, but doesn't have the money. Montana has waiver spots (long waiting lists) at ALF's for Medicaid recipients, but he has consistently refused to apply. It took some convincing to apply for disability a few years ago.

I think I will buy our vegetable plants this week and get those in. My goal is to get a couple of good tomato producers this year. I have had trouble in the past. Usually I plant 3 or 4 and only 1-2 make it.

We are over $8,000 for the race today! I'm getting excited to raise our goal and very nervous that it's less than two months away. We still don't have any real cash sponsorships which is really frustrating when you've applied to what seems like a zillion places. But we do have food, coffee, and possibly some fruit. I'm trying to stay positive and send good vibes out into the universe. Maybe good things will bounce back.

Do you get some mom pants with that mini-van?

I think that's what Amy asked me when I told her we were going to purchase the mom-mobile. And no, it didn't come with a pair...but I plan to buy myself some along with a patchwork vest to wear whenever I am driving around in it. Seriously though, you can't take it away now that I have it. I've been driving it for about two weeks and love it. Automatic doors, heated seats, and lots of room for everything. It's a little different than driving the Prius around with two kids. It's silver 2011 Honda Odyssey with gray leather interior. Honda did a redesign this year and at first I though it was ugly. Now I'm getting used to it. My fellow mom-friend Jermaine says it looks "mean," so that's something.

Bernie has sold his truck. Every shred of his man-hood is now gone.

Bernie's parents are leaving tomorrow after staying the weekend. I always wish they would stay longer, but they need to get back to North Dakota after spending multiple months in Phoenix. We didn't do anything too exciting. But Bernie's dad got the "papa-do" list whittled down and we finally planted some trees in the backyard. It sounds like we are going to be doing some fairly serious landscaping ourselves back there this summer.

We have had tickets to see U2 for about 18 months now. Last year, the concert was canceled because of Bono's back. It was rescheduled for this May. I don't think I'm going to be able to go because we will be gone 6+ hours. Vivian is not ready to be away from me for that long and we have not had any luck getting her to take a bottle (haven't tried in a few months). Add that with the recent case of stranger strangeness we have been having and it's not a great situation for concert-going. I'm a little disappointed, but not too much. I'm sure Bernie can find someone else who will have more fun than me. All I would do is worry about the kids. I did go to trivia last night for my first real outing since Vivian was born. And we won for once in our miserable lives.

Vivian will be six months old in 10 days. Other than the couple of teaspoons of cereal she had last week, she has been exclusively breastfed the entire time. I think it's one of the proudest accomplishments of my life thus far...especially after all the guilt-inducing drama I had trying to breastfeed and pump for Bennett. However, I think teeth are on their way. I hope Vivian will be nice to her mama.