Vivian's Ordeal

Vivian's birth was mellow, but her first week of life was scary. Maybe even more scary than Bennett's, it's difficult to say in hindsight.

We left the hospital Saturday and had a couple of non-eventful days with lots of help from family at home. Vivian seemed to be doing well. When I nursed her on Saturday and Sunday, I would have my hand behind her head. I kept feeling a set of bumps and told myself that I would look at them when we were done. And I kept forgetting. I did remember to show them to the doctor on Monday and that's where the fun began. There was a cluster of fluid filled blister-looking things on the back of her head (I would say there were 5-7 of them). They varied in size from the size of a crayon tip to as big as a dime. Her doctor looked/felt at them for some time and then left the room for even longer. When he came back, he very seriously told us that she needed to admitted to the hospital right away because the blisters could possibly be a herpes infection. I of course started crying almost immediately. It was unbelievable what another one of my babies was going to have to spend time in the hospital.

We went across the street and began the process of admission. I began to realize how serious the situation was when Vivian's doctor explained the myriad of tests he was going to run and that she would need to stay at least a week. She had to be on IV antiviral drugs and fluids the entire time. So yeah, our 4 day old baby had an IV in her hand. Poor baby girl. Give breastfeeding a try with that thing in the way. She had cultures done to her eyes, nose, mouth, as well as the actual blisters. She had blood drawn for a culture and to check her liver function. The worst was the spinal tap. We weren't in the room for any of these tests...I'm not sure if I would have ever been able to get the images out of my head. When a newborn has herpes, it can quickly affect the entire system, which was why so many tests needed to be ran. It was important to see how far the infection has gone. Most of the tests were supposed to come back within a couple of days, but the most important one (the culture of the actual blisters) would take a week. That test would definitively say whether it was herpes or not while all the others would just let us know how far things had spread if they had.

On top of all of this, Vivian was significantly jaundiced, so she had to be under the lights the whole time she was there. She stayed on the pediatric floor and not the NICU. I got to stay with her the entire time and didn't leave the room for more than a moment to fill my water cup.

Some of the test results came back Tuesday. They showed her liver function to be normal and the cultures of her ears, eyes, etc. were fine. On Wednesday, her doctor let us know that the blood culture was negative and that Vivian actually had herpes antibodies floating around in her blood (likely from me since I get cold sores). This was a good thing. The most important thing was that she was not acting at all sick. Babies with herpes apparently become very ill. After discussing Vivian's situation with specialists at Children's Hospital, her doctor surprised us by letting us go home Wednesday as all signs pointed to no herpes infection. We would know Monday for certain when the cultures came back. The doctor was confident there was really nothing wrong.

We took Vivian home and nervously watched her until the next week rolled around. She was fine. She never acted sick (except for the little cold she caught from all of us). She ate well and gained weight. Monday and Tuesday passed with no word. On Wednesday I called her doctor and received some annoying (read infuriating) news. Somehow the culture of the blisters had never been sent. Later we found out that the nurse on the floor had accidentally forgotten to enter the order for it to be sent out. Woops. Now we will never know for 100% certain that it wasn't herpes. But if it was, Vivian would be very ill or dead by now, so we are as close to 100% sure as possible.

I feel guilty for how Bennett must have felt during this whole ordeal. He had his grandma's and his papa, but he must have felt like we abandoned him twice in one week.

I did not know exactly how serious a herpes infection in a newborn could be. I avoided any internet doctoring until after Vivian came home. Google it yourself if interested...it is really scary. These kinds of infections have serious consequences from mental retardation to death, often regardless of treatment. So, it made sense that Vivian's doctor would treat if there was even a remote possibility of a herpes infection. But Jesus, can our babies catch a break??