Vivian's birth was mellow, but her first week of life was scary. Maybe even more scary than Bennett's, it's difficult to say in hindsight.
We left the hospital Saturday and had a couple of non-eventful days with lots of help from family at home. Vivian seemed to be doing well. When I nursed her on Saturday and Sunday, I would have my hand behind her head. I kept feeling a set of bumps and told myself that I would look at them when we were done. And I kept forgetting. I did remember to show them to the doctor on Monday and that's where the fun began. There was a cluster of fluid filled blister-looking things on the back of her head (I would say there were 5-7 of them). They varied in size from the size of a crayon tip to as big as a dime. Her doctor looked/felt at them for some time and then left the room for even longer. When he came back, he very seriously told us that she needed to admitted to the hospital right away because the blisters could possibly be a herpes infection. I of course started crying almost immediately. It was unbelievable what another one of my babies was going to have to spend time in the hospital.
We went across the street and began the process of admission. I began to realize how serious the situation was when Vivian's doctor explained the myriad of tests he was going to run and that she would need to stay at least a week. She had to be on IV antiviral drugs and fluids the entire time. So yeah, our 4 day old baby had an IV in her hand. Poor baby girl. Give breastfeeding a try with that thing in the way. She had cultures done to her eyes, nose, mouth, as well as the actual blisters. She had blood drawn for a culture and to check her liver function. The worst was the spinal tap. We weren't in the room for any of these tests...I'm not sure if I would have ever been able to get the images out of my head. When a newborn has herpes, it can quickly affect the entire system, which was why so many tests needed to be ran. It was important to see how far the infection has gone. Most of the tests were supposed to come back within a couple of days, but the most important one (the culture of the actual blisters) would take a week. That test would definitively say whether it was herpes or not while all the others would just let us know how far things had spread if they had.
On top of all of this, Vivian was significantly jaundiced, so she had to be under the lights the whole time she was there. She stayed on the pediatric floor and not the NICU. I got to stay with her the entire time and didn't leave the room for more than a moment to fill my water cup.
Some of the test results came back Tuesday. They showed her liver function to be normal and the cultures of her ears, eyes, etc. were fine. On Wednesday, her doctor let us know that the blood culture was negative and that Vivian actually had herpes antibodies floating around in her blood (likely from me since I get cold sores). This was a good thing. The most important thing was that she was not acting at all sick. Babies with herpes apparently become very ill. After discussing Vivian's situation with specialists at Children's Hospital, her doctor surprised us by letting us go home Wednesday as all signs pointed to no herpes infection. We would know Monday for certain when the cultures came back. The doctor was confident there was really nothing wrong.
We took Vivian home and nervously watched her until the next week rolled around. She was fine. She never acted sick (except for the little cold she caught from all of us). She ate well and gained weight. Monday and Tuesday passed with no word. On Wednesday I called her doctor and received some annoying (read infuriating) news. Somehow the culture of the blisters had never been sent. Later we found out that the nurse on the floor had accidentally forgotten to enter the order for it to be sent out. Woops. Now we will never know for 100% certain that it wasn't herpes. But if it was, Vivian would be very ill or dead by now, so we are as close to 100% sure as possible.
I feel guilty for how Bennett must have felt during this whole ordeal. He had his grandma's and his papa, but he must have felt like we abandoned him twice in one week.
I did not know exactly how serious a herpes infection in a newborn could be. I avoided any internet doctoring until after Vivian came home. Google it yourself if interested...it is really scary. These kinds of infections have serious consequences from mental retardation to death, often regardless of treatment. So, it made sense that Vivian's doctor would treat if there was even a remote possibility of a herpes infection. But Jesus, can our babies catch a break??
Friday, November 26, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
Vivian's Birth Story
Vivian’s birth story is mellow compared to her brother’s. I was hoping to go into labor naturally, and since I was dilated to 4+ since 37 weeks or so it seemed like a realistic goal. I also knew that if anything was looking like it might go a little weird, I would go for an induction. At my 38 week appointment my BP’s were trending a bit higher and my doctor wanted to see me five days later rather than seven. I ended up in Labor and Delivery that Friday due to some sudden swelling and a BP of 156/87 on a grocery store BP machine. Although it was not that high in L&D, my numbers remained in the 135/80 range which is significantly higher than my baseline 110/60. I had a feeling my doctor would be talking induction at my Monday appointment. My BP’s remained at the higher level and he did recommend that we call it quits before things possibly got scary again. The last thing anyone wanted was for me or Vivian to get sick when we were already in such a great place. So we agreed on an induction Thursday October 28th. Bernie and I decided to try to get me into active labor before then with no success. Hot hot wings and a drive up in high elevation did not work for me.
We went into the hospital at a little after 8 am on the 28th after a short delay. I was group strep B positive so the first thing they did was run antibiotics for four hours in preparation for the induction. Bernie and I sat around, relaxed as much as possible, and waited. We actually had all of our bags packed this time so we had many things to do to keep ourselves entertained. I had my own music to listen to! I had the best nurse during that day. Her name was Char and she was probably 60 years old. She had many years of experience and had probably worked at that hospital longer than I have been alive. It was awesome to have someone who had so many hints and insights into the whole process. When I first came in and told her that I hoped to go through labor without the epidural, she was totally on board and tried to help me get through it. When I changed my mind later, she was just as understanding and supportive.
My doctor finally came in to break my water at 12:45pm. Within thirty minutes my contractions were coming quickly and feeling very intense. I had a pitocin induction with Bennett and did not need it with Vivian (so so so happy about that). The quality of the contractions were very different for me. With Bennett, they felt like knives stabbing over and over again. This time they felt like enormous and painful pressure in my pelvis. I think I basically went into transition almost right away. There was really no build-up since I was already so far dilated. The contractions felt like they never really stopped. By 2pm, I was 6 cm and asked for the epidural. I got that within 30 minutes and things of course eased up after that. In fact, I thought the epidural had slowed the labor because the contractions did not seem to register as very intense on the monitor. When the nurse checked me just after 3pm, I was prepared to hear that I hadn’t made any progress and would need pitocin. I was amazed to hear that I was already at 9cm. We were likely complete by 4pm. My nurse suggested that since we had the epidural, we just let the contractions naturally start the pushing process. So that’s what we did until 5:15 when I started pushing.
The epidural was just as good as the one I had with Bennett. I could feel pressure when I had a contraction and so knew when to push. I could lift and feel my legs still but had no very little to no pain. It did take what seemed like forever but was actually 1.5 hours. My doctor, predictably, did not come in until the very last moment. I think I only pushed twice and she as out. The strangest thing happened near the end. Vivian was actually moving around while I pushed. You could see her kick. It’s hard to describe, but she was definitely living up to the “lively” meaning of her name. She came out yelling and didn’t stop for about two hours after she was born. 7 lbs. 10 oz. and inches...born at 39 weeks 1 day. She weighted over twice as much as Bennett and was 4 inches longer.
This birth experience was obviously so different for everyone involved. It helped resolve some of the lingering feelings I have had since Bennett was born. I didn’t feel cheated, sick, and scared for my baby’s life. I felt educated and much more in control. I felt like my body wasn’t a total failure. And I got to hold my baby after birth, and nurse her, and keep her in the room with us. It was awesome. That’s really the only word that fits.
I never had any protein on my urine dipsticks, no upper right quadrant pain, and officially no preeclampsia. If some of BP readings were correct, I had gestational hypertension at the end. I don’t think there will be an official diagnosis in my medical records.
With all of that said, the answer to the ever-popular “will you have more” question is an unequivocal no. This pregnancy was nerve-racking in a way that I could never fully describe. I lived most of my days in a perpetual state of anxiety that I don’t think I could deal with again. Bernie was wonderful throughout, but I’m sure all of that fear and anxiety wasn’t easy on him (or Bennett for that matter). So we will be happy for what we have and move on to the next stage of our lives...watching our children grow up.
Things have been eventful since we brought Vivian home, but that's a post of another day. And I don't know when that day will be since things a little crazy around here with two kids. I will try to get another post up before Bernie goes back to work next Wednesday night.
We went into the hospital at a little after 8 am on the 28th after a short delay. I was group strep B positive so the first thing they did was run antibiotics for four hours in preparation for the induction. Bernie and I sat around, relaxed as much as possible, and waited. We actually had all of our bags packed this time so we had many things to do to keep ourselves entertained. I had my own music to listen to! I had the best nurse during that day. Her name was Char and she was probably 60 years old. She had many years of experience and had probably worked at that hospital longer than I have been alive. It was awesome to have someone who had so many hints and insights into the whole process. When I first came in and told her that I hoped to go through labor without the epidural, she was totally on board and tried to help me get through it. When I changed my mind later, she was just as understanding and supportive.
My doctor finally came in to break my water at 12:45pm. Within thirty minutes my contractions were coming quickly and feeling very intense. I had a pitocin induction with Bennett and did not need it with Vivian (so so so happy about that). The quality of the contractions were very different for me. With Bennett, they felt like knives stabbing over and over again. This time they felt like enormous and painful pressure in my pelvis. I think I basically went into transition almost right away. There was really no build-up since I was already so far dilated. The contractions felt like they never really stopped. By 2pm, I was 6 cm and asked for the epidural. I got that within 30 minutes and things of course eased up after that. In fact, I thought the epidural had slowed the labor because the contractions did not seem to register as very intense on the monitor. When the nurse checked me just after 3pm, I was prepared to hear that I hadn’t made any progress and would need pitocin. I was amazed to hear that I was already at 9cm. We were likely complete by 4pm. My nurse suggested that since we had the epidural, we just let the contractions naturally start the pushing process. So that’s what we did until 5:15 when I started pushing.
The epidural was just as good as the one I had with Bennett. I could feel pressure when I had a contraction and so knew when to push. I could lift and feel my legs still but had no very little to no pain. It did take what seemed like forever but was actually 1.5 hours. My doctor, predictably, did not come in until the very last moment. I think I only pushed twice and she as out. The strangest thing happened near the end. Vivian was actually moving around while I pushed. You could see her kick. It’s hard to describe, but she was definitely living up to the “lively” meaning of her name. She came out yelling and didn’t stop for about two hours after she was born. 7 lbs. 10 oz. and inches...born at 39 weeks 1 day. She weighted over twice as much as Bennett and was 4 inches longer.
This birth experience was obviously so different for everyone involved. It helped resolve some of the lingering feelings I have had since Bennett was born. I didn’t feel cheated, sick, and scared for my baby’s life. I felt educated and much more in control. I felt like my body wasn’t a total failure. And I got to hold my baby after birth, and nurse her, and keep her in the room with us. It was awesome. That’s really the only word that fits.
I never had any protein on my urine dipsticks, no upper right quadrant pain, and officially no preeclampsia. If some of BP readings were correct, I had gestational hypertension at the end. I don’t think there will be an official diagnosis in my medical records.
With all of that said, the answer to the ever-popular “will you have more” question is an unequivocal no. This pregnancy was nerve-racking in a way that I could never fully describe. I lived most of my days in a perpetual state of anxiety that I don’t think I could deal with again. Bernie was wonderful throughout, but I’m sure all of that fear and anxiety wasn’t easy on him (or Bennett for that matter). So we will be happy for what we have and move on to the next stage of our lives...watching our children grow up.
Things have been eventful since we brought Vivian home, but that's a post of another day. And I don't know when that day will be since things a little crazy around here with two kids. I will try to get another post up before Bernie goes back to work next Wednesday night.
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