I don't have too much to write about, but Bennett weighed 9 lbs. 11oz. on Friday!
Sending out baby having vibes to Kristen. I know you are sooooo ready to move on to the next step!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Happenings
Things are pretty status quo around here lately. We have been having ongoing gas issues with Bennett. If anyone has any advice, we/he would appreciate it. We are trying the Dr. Brown bottles. Hopefully that will help in a few days.
I got the results of my HELLP blood work. Everything was negative, so it doesn't look like I have any underlying disorders. Basically that means my chances of preeclampsia are higher than a normal woman because I've had it before, but not extraordinarily higher. My doctor did not test for every possible disorder. He did not think it was necessary because not all of them are highly correlated. I guess I just need to trust the medical professional.
Bernie has been on his overnight shifts the last few days. These are my least favorite because he's gone all night and then sleeps all day. It's rough when Bennett is going three hours between when he starts eating and eats again. But last night, he went four hours both times! This was an exciting development. Here's hoping that it continues. He has a weight check tomorrow. He's probably in the high 8 lb. range. The newborn clothes are starting to get a little tight, but the 0-3 month stuff is still a bit big.
We are planning a trip to Great Falls/North Dakota in April/May. We are going to stay a whole week in each place. Melanie has her graduation in early May, so hopefully we can make it whatever kind of celebration she plans on having. Bernie's parents are coming to visit the first week in March and my mom will be here the second week. There are also whispers of visits from Marlena and my dad at some point. We'll see. There's also a trip to Portland in the works for June. We still haven't met our new nephew who was born in August.
I got the results of my HELLP blood work. Everything was negative, so it doesn't look like I have any underlying disorders. Basically that means my chances of preeclampsia are higher than a normal woman because I've had it before, but not extraordinarily higher. My doctor did not test for every possible disorder. He did not think it was necessary because not all of them are highly correlated. I guess I just need to trust the medical professional.
Bernie has been on his overnight shifts the last few days. These are my least favorite because he's gone all night and then sleeps all day. It's rough when Bennett is going three hours between when he starts eating and eats again. But last night, he went four hours both times! This was an exciting development. Here's hoping that it continues. He has a weight check tomorrow. He's probably in the high 8 lb. range. The newborn clothes are starting to get a little tight, but the 0-3 month stuff is still a bit big.
We are planning a trip to Great Falls/North Dakota in April/May. We are going to stay a whole week in each place. Melanie has her graduation in early May, so hopefully we can make it whatever kind of celebration she plans on having. Bernie's parents are coming to visit the first week in March and my mom will be here the second week. There are also whispers of visits from Marlena and my dad at some point. We'll see. There's also a trip to Portland in the works for June. We still haven't met our new nephew who was born in August.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Bennett's Birth Story
Fair warning: This is really long...
It all started a week or two before Bennett was born. My pregnancy had been mostly uneventful. I began having intermittent pain and pressure in my upper abdomen. It would last for a couple of hours and then disappear. I probably had three episodes of this before I saw my midwife five days before the birth. I figured it was indigestion since it would feel worse when I ate. The same week I noticed increased swelling. I had not had any up to that point and even what I had then was mild compared to what I had seen other women go through.
When I told my midwife about my symptoms, she said she thought it was heartburn. I have never had heartburn in my life so I did not argue. She did check my urine which turned up no protein. This is a key sign of preeclampsia. She sent me home with advice to try Tums, Maalox, and Pepcid. That was Wednesday. I felt OK on Thursday. Friday morning I began to have the pain again. It got worse throughout the day. We went out to dinner with some friends. Sleeping, eating, and drinking were difficult. On Saturday morning, I remained pretty miserable. By this time I had tried both Tums and Maalox with no positive results.
I still had hardly eaten anything. I tried taking a Pepcid which did nothing. I actually drove myself down to Boulder to do some book shopping. That is a bit scary when I think back on it because I could have had seizures at any time. I got home and finally called my doctor at 4 PM. He told me to take a double dose of Pepcid and call him in 24 hours if I did not feel better. People started to give me all sorts of advice from drinking warm milk with honey, to eating uncooked rice, to chewing gum. I tried all of them to no avail. I sat in the shower for about an hour in order to feel better (again, scary in my condition). By 9 PM, I could no longer deal with it. I also know I was dehydrated and could not force myself to eat or drink. The pressure was unbearable. I called my doctor again and told him I was going to the hospital.
When I got to the ER the woman at the desk automatically assumed I was there to have the baby. She called up to L&D to tell them I was ready to give birth. I assured her I was not even close to having the baby and that something unrelated was going on. After I was wheeled up, I went to lie down and almost immediately threw up. This was strange since I had not thrown up once the entire pregnancy. They took my blood and did a urine test. Still no protein, but the doctor said my blood work was “borderline.” I was admitted for observation.
The doctor came to see us at midnight. He had not figured out the problem but thought it might be my gallbladder. He planned to have it looked at in the morning. They hooked me up to an IV for rehydration. I also had a pain med prescribed through it every two hours. The med took the edge off the pain for about 30 minutes which allowed me to get a little bit of sleep (between going to the bathroom constantly because of the fluids). Bernie went home to get some better sleep.
In the morning, the pain continued to be pretty nasty. I ate a little breakfast before they took me down for the ultrasound. The tech found nothing wrong with my gallbladder. We still didn’t know what was going on, but we were pretty sure it wasn’t heartburn by this time. The doctor came back at noon and said my blood work was still strange and that he was consulting with a specialist about it. He gave me Percocet and a shot of steroids “just in case you have to deliver early.” He said he was sure that wasn’t going to happen.
Bernie and I watched football. By the time 3 rolled around, I felt much better...like I was a whole new person. The pain was gone. I took a shower, changed my clothes, and told Bernie that I felt ready to go home. Five minutes later the doctor came in and told us that the helicopter was on the way. He said I had HELLP Syndrome and that the only way to cure it was to deliver the baby. Since the local hospital was not equipped to deal with a 31 week preemie, we had to go to Denver. The complications of undelivered HELLP Syndrome include seizures, liver rupture, bleeding to death, and fetal death.
The helicopter ride to Denver only lasted about 10 minutes, but it was beautiful. It was sunset on a clear day and I was facing the mountains. I also got to fly by the buildings downtown. A little silver lining to a very dramatic day.
The first thing that happened at St. Luke’s was an ultrasound. Bernie luckily made it just in time as he had to take the dog to the kennel and drive himself to Denver. The deal was: if he was head down, we would try a vaginal birth and if he wasn’t, we would have to do a C-section. The main risk with a C-section in my condition was that the bleeding would not stop because my platelets were too low. I was so happy that he was head down and that the doctor felt there was no reason Bennett couldn’t handle a vaginal delivery.
It was a bit strange, but the first thing I asked was to eat something. It had been so long and I was feeling so good that I wanted to eat. I was told that the process could take days since my body was not necessarily ready to give birth at 31 weeks. I really really wanted to eat! They let me order one meal at about 7 PM and told me they would begin the induction at 9 PM. I ordered a pizza from the hospital kitchen. It wasn’t that great when I think back on it, but it tasted pretty damn good at the time.
Promptly at 9, the nurse came in a and placed a prostaglandin capsule next to my cervix to soften it and encourage dilation. She told me that they would likely need to repeat the process multiple times. She encouraged me to get some rest and she would be back to check on me in four hours. Rest did not come easily and I spent most of the time watching the monitor for contractions. There were small spikes, but I was not feeling any discomfort. Bernie tried to get some sleep also and I think he did better than I did.
The nurse came in to check me at 1 AM. She immediately left the room and brought in a second nurse to make sure she was feeling things right. It turns out I was already 5 cm dilated. I was later told that I must have been pretty ill for my body to react so quickly to induction. Unfortunately, things began to slow down after that. Since I was at risk for seizures magnesium sulfate was started in my IV. It made me feel kind of icky. I also had to have a catheter because I was not allowed to get out of bed due to the magnesium. This was the most horrible part of the experience. It was especially uncomfortable for the first few hours and I wasn’t very nice to the nurse about it.
Things were allowed to progress naturally for a while after that. I kept hoping that my contractions would cooperate so I could avoid the Pitocin. That was not to be the case. My contractions never got any closer or stronger, probably because of the magnesium. They tried breaking my water also which didn’t really didn’t help. At about 7 AM the doctor ordered the Pitocin started. After about an hour it really started to kick in.
I probably dealt with the Pitocin contractions for about an hour before I broke down. They were horrible...worse than I ever imagined. There was never any build-up. I went from feeling nothing to feeling like someone was stabbing and twisting a knife in my abdomen. I really really wanted to forgo the epidural. This wish was not to be. I was so exhausted and simply worn down. I didn’t know how much longer the stabbing would last.
When I caved in and asked for the epidural, the anesthesiologist was there in less than five minutes. I was very worried that I wouldn’t be able to push effectively with the epidural. It actually turned out well. I was able to feel my legs and still felt the pressure when it was time to push. I only had the epidural for about an hour or a bit more before I felt ready to push. If I had been able to hold on a little longer, I might have avoided the epidural. But I didn’t know.
When pushing time came, I can’t even remeber how many people were in the room. In one section were my people and Bennett had his very own set up and people on the in the other section of the room. There were 2 or 3 doctors, 3 or 4 nurses, student nurses, and Bernie of course. He was the only person I wanted there. He held my right leg when the time came. I started pushing at 11 AM. What was really strange about the whole experience was that my contractions never got really close together. Even when I was ready to push, they were 2-4 minutes apart. I would watch the screen and push when one came. Then there would be this bizarre period of time where nothing was happening.
A word about mirrors. I thought that when I asked for one, it would be small and would be used when he was coming out. Much to my surprise, it was HUGE and was there the entire time I was pushing. It was a bit unnerving.
I would have had Bennett out sooner if the contractions had been closer together. As it was, it only took 34 minutes. Halfway through, his heartbeat was lost so they switched to internal monitoring. He weighted 3 lbs. 7 oz. and was 16 inches long. They took him away immediately to his zone where they got his breathing worked out. They cut part of his umbilical cord and Bernie also got to cut part of it. They let me kiss him before he was taken to the NICU.
My recovery was quick. My blood work returned to normal within 24 hours and I left the hospital 48 hours after Bennett was born. His development was slower of course. He was on a respirator for the first 24 hours and when they tried to take it out he wasn’t ready. One of his lungs collapsed and the respirator went back in for a few days. He had better luck the next time around. In total, Bennett spent 32 days between the Level 2 and 3 NICU’s. The average for a 31 weeker is 39 days, so he did well.
Bernie was the ideal partner to have during this ordeal. He was calm, rational, and empathetic. We later talked about how worried he was that he would lose one or both of us. I never saw this in him. Instead, he helped keep me relaxed and focused. The experience reminded me of why I love him so much.
Bennett and I received amazing medical care at St. Luke’s. I actually had my own nurse for the first 24 hours which was comforting. They were there whenever I needed anything and were very kind to myself and my family. I will forever feel in debt to them for what they did for us.
This was obviously not my ideal birth. I think back on it and am thankful that we got to do a vaginal birth. And of course I am so relieved that Bennett got here and we are both happy and healthy. However, I still get sad when I think about the whole ordeal. I thought I was in good health and that things were progressing normally. And then my fantasy birth came crashing down. I also have blank spots in my memory. I just can’t remember everything clearly. Sometimes I think about it all and remember a detail I had forgotten, like that I had to have oxygen near the end of the pushing stage. I didn’t remember that until three weeks after the birth. It has taken me this long to want to share this story in writing. Talking about it is a bit easier because it’s less permanent.
It all started a week or two before Bennett was born. My pregnancy had been mostly uneventful. I began having intermittent pain and pressure in my upper abdomen. It would last for a couple of hours and then disappear. I probably had three episodes of this before I saw my midwife five days before the birth. I figured it was indigestion since it would feel worse when I ate. The same week I noticed increased swelling. I had not had any up to that point and even what I had then was mild compared to what I had seen other women go through.
When I told my midwife about my symptoms, she said she thought it was heartburn. I have never had heartburn in my life so I did not argue. She did check my urine which turned up no protein. This is a key sign of preeclampsia. She sent me home with advice to try Tums, Maalox, and Pepcid. That was Wednesday. I felt OK on Thursday. Friday morning I began to have the pain again. It got worse throughout the day. We went out to dinner with some friends. Sleeping, eating, and drinking were difficult. On Saturday morning, I remained pretty miserable. By this time I had tried both Tums and Maalox with no positive results.
I still had hardly eaten anything. I tried taking a Pepcid which did nothing. I actually drove myself down to Boulder to do some book shopping. That is a bit scary when I think back on it because I could have had seizures at any time. I got home and finally called my doctor at 4 PM. He told me to take a double dose of Pepcid and call him in 24 hours if I did not feel better. People started to give me all sorts of advice from drinking warm milk with honey, to eating uncooked rice, to chewing gum. I tried all of them to no avail. I sat in the shower for about an hour in order to feel better (again, scary in my condition). By 9 PM, I could no longer deal with it. I also know I was dehydrated and could not force myself to eat or drink. The pressure was unbearable. I called my doctor again and told him I was going to the hospital.
When I got to the ER the woman at the desk automatically assumed I was there to have the baby. She called up to L&D to tell them I was ready to give birth. I assured her I was not even close to having the baby and that something unrelated was going on. After I was wheeled up, I went to lie down and almost immediately threw up. This was strange since I had not thrown up once the entire pregnancy. They took my blood and did a urine test. Still no protein, but the doctor said my blood work was “borderline.” I was admitted for observation.
The doctor came to see us at midnight. He had not figured out the problem but thought it might be my gallbladder. He planned to have it looked at in the morning. They hooked me up to an IV for rehydration. I also had a pain med prescribed through it every two hours. The med took the edge off the pain for about 30 minutes which allowed me to get a little bit of sleep (between going to the bathroom constantly because of the fluids). Bernie went home to get some better sleep.
In the morning, the pain continued to be pretty nasty. I ate a little breakfast before they took me down for the ultrasound. The tech found nothing wrong with my gallbladder. We still didn’t know what was going on, but we were pretty sure it wasn’t heartburn by this time. The doctor came back at noon and said my blood work was still strange and that he was consulting with a specialist about it. He gave me Percocet and a shot of steroids “just in case you have to deliver early.” He said he was sure that wasn’t going to happen.
Bernie and I watched football. By the time 3 rolled around, I felt much better...like I was a whole new person. The pain was gone. I took a shower, changed my clothes, and told Bernie that I felt ready to go home. Five minutes later the doctor came in and told us that the helicopter was on the way. He said I had HELLP Syndrome and that the only way to cure it was to deliver the baby. Since the local hospital was not equipped to deal with a 31 week preemie, we had to go to Denver. The complications of undelivered HELLP Syndrome include seizures, liver rupture, bleeding to death, and fetal death.
The helicopter ride to Denver only lasted about 10 minutes, but it was beautiful. It was sunset on a clear day and I was facing the mountains. I also got to fly by the buildings downtown. A little silver lining to a very dramatic day.
The first thing that happened at St. Luke’s was an ultrasound. Bernie luckily made it just in time as he had to take the dog to the kennel and drive himself to Denver. The deal was: if he was head down, we would try a vaginal birth and if he wasn’t, we would have to do a C-section. The main risk with a C-section in my condition was that the bleeding would not stop because my platelets were too low. I was so happy that he was head down and that the doctor felt there was no reason Bennett couldn’t handle a vaginal delivery.
It was a bit strange, but the first thing I asked was to eat something. It had been so long and I was feeling so good that I wanted to eat. I was told that the process could take days since my body was not necessarily ready to give birth at 31 weeks. I really really wanted to eat! They let me order one meal at about 7 PM and told me they would begin the induction at 9 PM. I ordered a pizza from the hospital kitchen. It wasn’t that great when I think back on it, but it tasted pretty damn good at the time.
Promptly at 9, the nurse came in a and placed a prostaglandin capsule next to my cervix to soften it and encourage dilation. She told me that they would likely need to repeat the process multiple times. She encouraged me to get some rest and she would be back to check on me in four hours. Rest did not come easily and I spent most of the time watching the monitor for contractions. There were small spikes, but I was not feeling any discomfort. Bernie tried to get some sleep also and I think he did better than I did.
The nurse came in to check me at 1 AM. She immediately left the room and brought in a second nurse to make sure she was feeling things right. It turns out I was already 5 cm dilated. I was later told that I must have been pretty ill for my body to react so quickly to induction. Unfortunately, things began to slow down after that. Since I was at risk for seizures magnesium sulfate was started in my IV. It made me feel kind of icky. I also had to have a catheter because I was not allowed to get out of bed due to the magnesium. This was the most horrible part of the experience. It was especially uncomfortable for the first few hours and I wasn’t very nice to the nurse about it.
Things were allowed to progress naturally for a while after that. I kept hoping that my contractions would cooperate so I could avoid the Pitocin. That was not to be the case. My contractions never got any closer or stronger, probably because of the magnesium. They tried breaking my water also which didn’t really didn’t help. At about 7 AM the doctor ordered the Pitocin started. After about an hour it really started to kick in.
I probably dealt with the Pitocin contractions for about an hour before I broke down. They were horrible...worse than I ever imagined. There was never any build-up. I went from feeling nothing to feeling like someone was stabbing and twisting a knife in my abdomen. I really really wanted to forgo the epidural. This wish was not to be. I was so exhausted and simply worn down. I didn’t know how much longer the stabbing would last.
When I caved in and asked for the epidural, the anesthesiologist was there in less than five minutes. I was very worried that I wouldn’t be able to push effectively with the epidural. It actually turned out well. I was able to feel my legs and still felt the pressure when it was time to push. I only had the epidural for about an hour or a bit more before I felt ready to push. If I had been able to hold on a little longer, I might have avoided the epidural. But I didn’t know.
When pushing time came, I can’t even remeber how many people were in the room. In one section were my people and Bennett had his very own set up and people on the in the other section of the room. There were 2 or 3 doctors, 3 or 4 nurses, student nurses, and Bernie of course. He was the only person I wanted there. He held my right leg when the time came. I started pushing at 11 AM. What was really strange about the whole experience was that my contractions never got really close together. Even when I was ready to push, they were 2-4 minutes apart. I would watch the screen and push when one came. Then there would be this bizarre period of time where nothing was happening.
A word about mirrors. I thought that when I asked for one, it would be small and would be used when he was coming out. Much to my surprise, it was HUGE and was there the entire time I was pushing. It was a bit unnerving.
I would have had Bennett out sooner if the contractions had been closer together. As it was, it only took 34 minutes. Halfway through, his heartbeat was lost so they switched to internal monitoring. He weighted 3 lbs. 7 oz. and was 16 inches long. They took him away immediately to his zone where they got his breathing worked out. They cut part of his umbilical cord and Bernie also got to cut part of it. They let me kiss him before he was taken to the NICU.
My recovery was quick. My blood work returned to normal within 24 hours and I left the hospital 48 hours after Bennett was born. His development was slower of course. He was on a respirator for the first 24 hours and when they tried to take it out he wasn’t ready. One of his lungs collapsed and the respirator went back in for a few days. He had better luck the next time around. In total, Bennett spent 32 days between the Level 2 and 3 NICU’s. The average for a 31 weeker is 39 days, so he did well.
Bernie was the ideal partner to have during this ordeal. He was calm, rational, and empathetic. We later talked about how worried he was that he would lose one or both of us. I never saw this in him. Instead, he helped keep me relaxed and focused. The experience reminded me of why I love him so much.
Bennett and I received amazing medical care at St. Luke’s. I actually had my own nurse for the first 24 hours which was comforting. They were there whenever I needed anything and were very kind to myself and my family. I will forever feel in debt to them for what they did for us.
This was obviously not my ideal birth. I think back on it and am thankful that we got to do a vaginal birth. And of course I am so relieved that Bennett got here and we are both happy and healthy. However, I still get sad when I think about the whole ordeal. I thought I was in good health and that things were progressing normally. And then my fantasy birth came crashing down. I also have blank spots in my memory. I just can’t remember everything clearly. Sometimes I think about it all and remember a detail I had forgotten, like that I had to have oxygen near the end of the pushing stage. I didn’t remember that until three weeks after the birth. It has taken me this long to want to share this story in writing. Talking about it is a bit easier because it’s less permanent.
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