I am happy to report that I got all of my flowers/veggies planted over the past couple of weeks. It feels good to have that done. Now I just have to keep up with all the maintenance. I will try to get some photos posted soon. I did not go nearly as crazy as I did last year, knowing how much work it can be to keep it all under control.

I sounds like my mom is planning to come down to visit the second weekend in June. It's going to be a busy month. Bennett and I are flying to San Diego to see Kristen and family in two weeks. Then my mom will be here. Then we are flying to Portland to visit Bernie's sister and family. Have I mentioned how nervous I am to fly with Bennett alone? I'm on Southwest which does not have seating assignments and does not allow "families" to board first. I hope I am lucky enough to get an aisle seat or someone willing to give one up. I'm sure he will need to be walked around a number of times to prevent meltdown.

I heard today that Tori Amos is going to be in Denver mid-July. I hope to go and have asked a local friend to join me. I can't see Bernie enjoying that concert. He already had to deal with me and Oasis, I will try to spare him this time.

Bennett had his 6 month check-up this week. He is up to 15 lbs. 4 oz. and 25 inches. The doctor was very happy with his growth. He has hit the 25th percentile for weight and 10th for height in his actual age group. Hopefully, by the time he is a year old he will be caught up. The doctor felt he was between a 4 and 5 month old developmentally which is right on target for the moment. Again, he should continue to close the gap as he gets older. He wanted us to start solids right away. I wasn't sure if Bennett was ready, but he is doing OK with them. Yesterday he spit most of the rice cereal out. Today he swallowed more of it but would not open his mouth after 4 bites or so. Oh well...he should still be getting all of his nutrition from breast milk/formula anyway. We're just practicing right now.

We went to a baby play date this week. An interesting group of women and lots of cute babies. I will definitely go again. I also am continuing with exercise classes at the rec center and Stroller Strides class. I try to get some exercise most days. I find it helps improve my mood.

I'm working two days in a row next week! Crazy! I should probably do something to justify my free gym membership.

Specialist appointment

So, we had an appointment with the maternal-fetal specialist yesterday. It is recommended that any woman who had pre eclampsia see one before they get pregnant again. I decided to try to see the lady who actually delivered Bennett. I was expecting a battle with having to get a referral and other assorted medical hoops, but it was actually very easy. I just called and made the appointment. I spent quite a bit of time researching and preparing questions (thank you Pre-eclampsia Foundation Forms...I don't know if I would have made it through the last few months without you). She actually remembered us, which was comforting.

First, the news I have learned about my first pregnancy. I ordered my medical records (300+ pages) and have gone through them. I apparently had a hemorrhage after Bennett was born, which I don't remember. That must be why they were shoving a number of unknown pills down my throat. They took the placenta for a pathology report. There were problems with the blood vessels. It was also in the 20th percentile for size and partially abrupted. This means that it had started to separate from my uterus and if it would have continued, Bennett may have died. The blood vessel issues and size are hallmarks of pre-e. The problem is thought to occur at implantation. Something is screwy with mom's immune system which causes the placenta to implant too shallowly. This is fine until the baby gets too big. Then the need for blood etc outpaces the placenta's ability to provide and mom's system goes into overload and shutdown mode. Bennett was a good weight for his age, but if we had continued, he would have likely become growth restricted for lack of blood/nutrients.

Dr. Becker was positive about a second pregnancy, but also gave us fair warning. Since I had severe early onset pre-e, my chances are significantly higher of having it again in subsequent pregnancies. In most cases, women develop pre-e late in pregnancy (near labor/delivery) and only have it that one time. My own OB made it seem as though I was in the "only first pregnancy" group, but the specialist seemed to have more knowledge. She said the chances were between 25-60% Kind of scary at first glance. But since I am healthy overall and the first found tests for underlying disorders were negative she thinks my chances of having a normal pregnancy are greater than another bout of pre-e.

A second pregnancy would be considered "high risk." She would co-manage with my OB. I would have baseline labs and 24 hour urine test to find out what is normal for me. There are also a couple more of tests to run right when I get pregnant. If they were to be positive, it would be twice a day injectable blood thinners for me for the last two trimesters (fun!). I would have to take a daily aspirin when pregnant and prenatal vitamins for three months before I get pregnant. It sounds like I would have ultrasounds to check for growth every four weeks after week 12. Other interventions would come in as needed.

Whew...that was a lot of info. Sorry about that, but my brain is often occupied with these issues and I thought I would share!

Warning

Photo dump on Bennett's page.

Also, he rolled from his back to his tummy today! He can get to his side from his back, but not totally over yet.

An update...finally

I just couldn't find the time on vacation to update. We got back on Monday and I have been trying to get the house in order since. We had a great time in both North Dakota and Montana. North Dakota was definitely more laid back. There was time to relax and enjoy Bernie's parents. Montana was much more hectic. Between my family and our friends that still live there, we were busy every day. The weather was shitty. There was a MASSIVE snow storm a couple of days after we got there and it was still melting when we left. I finally got to meet the first Fagg grandchild, Jadessa. She was born in August and a cutie. It's neat to see where Bennett will be in a few months. It was also nice to see Melanie and Heather again. I can't wait to find out if Melanie is having a boy or girl. Everyone seems to think girl, but we'll see on June 3rd.

Bennett was a great traveler overall. He slept most of the trip and only had one major meltdown. We took two days to get to ND and two days to get home, so I'm sure that helped his disposition. Speaking of sleep, he started to sleep through the night just before we left. Without me even trying he has got himself on a schedule. He goes to bed between 8 and 9, sleeps until between 7 and 8, and then eats every three hours during the day. His nap isn't quite worked out yet. He sometimes takes a long nap during the day. Other times, there are only cat naps. Whatever...sleeping through the night is the most important!

Still pumping here. I am down to four times a day now which is manageable at the moment. I may try to cut it down to two by the end of May and see how the supply goes. Right now he only needs about 4 ounces of formula per day out of 30. I'm hoping I can still get 15-20 ounces per day with two pumpings. I figure I can keep that up, even on vacation this summer. I have too much guilt about completely quitting.

I have joined a couple of mom's groups in the area. One of them is a Stroller Strides class. It has been a great way to get some exercise that includes Bennett. I also hope to meet and befriend some new moms. I need to get back to it since I got back. I was at my pre-pregnancy weight before we went on vacation, not so much anymore.

I am so excited to start my gardens this weekend!!! I keep seeing and drooling over all the flowers I see.

Bernie got a summons for jury duty today...ha! I should probably shut up or I'll be next.

Milestone!

Bennett had started to sleep longer at night consistently about three weeks ago. Instead of 3 hours between feedings, he slowly changed to 4 and then 5 hours. Then, two nights ago he went 7 hours and last night he went 8!!! Bennett slept through the night! We are a little excited. I think what has helped the most is that he is getting his thumb (as opposed to his whole hand) in his mouth consistently. He is able to calm himself and fall back to sleep when he wakes in the night. He even seems to be losing interest in the pacifier. He would much rather suck on his thumb.

Gearing up for vacation

We're headed to North Dakota in about 10 days. We are spending a week there and a week in Great Falls. And yes, we are driving. It should be very interesting with Bennett. We're taking the dog also...one big happy family. Bernie had to buy a luggage case for the roof to fit all of our junk into the Prius. I'm looking forward to the trip. It's going to be great for everyone to finally meet Bennett, especially my dad.

Other travel plans for the summer include Portland in June. I can't wait to see Emily and meet Grant. Crystal sent us a list of things to do that sound really fun. Mainly, I want to go to the beach. And maybe some shopping. My clothes fit weird post-baby and I think I have finally grown up. All of my clothes look like juniors...I'm ready to shop in the women's department.

I am planning to see Kristen and her family in June and also hope to see Sara sometime this summer (haven't discussed this with her yet). I want to make sure I take advantage of the time I have to see important people. Who knows when I will get the opportunity again?

Another exciting upcoming event is the garden. I am looking forward to getting my plans ready for flowers and vegetables. I think I'll scale back on the flowers this year because they were a lot of work last year and got very out of control by the end of the summer. More careful planning should help. I'll also need more time to deal with the vegetables.

Bennett has officially outgrown his 0-3 month clothes. I did the switcheroo to 3-6 months today. Baby clothes sizes seem to follow no logic. Even within the same brand, things fit differently. Carter's clothes can be bought at a number of places. 0-3 months from Target fits differently than the same size from the actual Carter's store. It's a bit annoying. He has a ton of clothes in this size range. I'm not sure if he will actually be able to wear them all.

I'm still pumping, but have almost entirely eliminated 2 sessions every day (including the one overnight...thanks Crystal). I think I will keep it up until we go to Portland in June. I'm definitely not hauling the pump to Oregon. He should be staring on solids then if everything goes well. I am supplementing about 4 oz of formula a day at this point, which is hardly anything considering he eats 30.

I love the medical community.

Really, I have conflicting feelings. Obviously, they did wonders for Bennett and I...we wouldn't be here without them. Bennett was supposed to get a Synagis shot today. He has been getting one once per month since he left the hospital to protect him from RSV. Preemies are at especially high risk for this dangerous respiratory disease and the shots are common practice. The first one we were supposed to get at home was not set up properly and we ended up having to have it done at the doctor's office at the last minute. The way the insurance company wants it done is as follows: we call and the shot is delivered via UPS to our house. It must be refrigerated immediately. Then the home health nurse is supposed to set up an appointment to give the shot at our house. I'm really not sure how this saves money, but whatever. Anyway, the first month this was screwed up on the home health side, it went fine last month, and we set up the appointment for this month last month. Then the nurse calls Bernie and tells him that she can't come today and reschedules for Wednesday. This isn't a huge deal in most cases, but we are going on vacation next month. The last shot will have to be early and now the window between them is even shorter. I am going to make sure this is OK at Bennett's MD appointment tomorrow.

Did I mention the series of shots costs $1400?

I won't go into great detail about how SHITTY the oxygen company was to deal with. We sat on hold for hours and got horrible service. Not to mention the fact that they are billing our insurance company over $200 per day (should have been a monthly charge) and they are just paying it! Now wonder insurance costs are rising. We need to call the insurance and tip them off because we tried to get the oxygen company to deal with it, but they haven't.

I might as well just finish my little rant here with how much this whole ordeal has cost. I know there is probably some curiosity about it. The grand total is somewhere in the $400,000 range. This includes:

$12,000 for a helicopter ride
$30,000+ for my medical care
$2200 per day for Bennett's MD visits while in the Level 3 NICU
$250,000 for his hospital stay
and thousands more in mich. xrays, meds, labs, etc.

I do not know what someone without insurance would have done. It easily would have wiped us out. But luckily we have really good insurance and our total out-of-pocket has been about $1000. The pile of insurance statements is a bit overwhelming.

SCARY!

Anyway, I will be done with my rant now. It's hard to understand the charges for some of this crap.

We have otherwise been doing well around here. Bennett is becoming more and more social. He smiles frequently and maintains good social eye contact. We need to get him more tummy time so his head lifts are stronger. I am waiting not-so-patiently for a good belly laugh from him.

I am going to be discussing formula supplementation with the MD tomorrow. Up until now, I have been pumping and he has been getting breast milk exclusively. My relationship with the pump has been deteriorating for a while now and I am ready to give it up. I feel good about having gotten this far. I was hoping to be done by the time we go on vacation next month. I might try to lessen the pumping sessions for a bit so he can still get mostly breast milk for awhile. We will see. I feel like I miss a lot of time with him because of the dreaded pump. But I'm sure there will be guilt if I stop. It's a no-win situation.